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Luke Warm Linkage

Jul 29th, 2010 by Flop

I think her water broke…

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I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 50

Jul 29th, 2010 by Jose Kortez

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
I went to grad school in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Getting there is no easy task. In fact, I learned there are only two locations in the US, where the US Postal Service does not guarantee overnight delivery. In the summer, you have to drive clear around Lake Michigan to get there (at least when coming from West Virginina). Either, you drive through Chicago, the worst drive in this country, or you drive through Michigan, but then across the UP.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

The drive up there in the summer was great but in the winter, it was treacherous. I would usually try to fly in the winter because it was safer than driving through several feet of snow. The problem is that flying was expensive, so I only did it if I needed to get to my parents’ house quickly – like if I left right before Christmas rather than taking a long break.

Now, there is only one airline that services the area – Northwest, now Delta. I will say they’re one of the better airlines – not like United who I’d like to Donkey Punch. They give you free drinks – an entire coke on a flight over 2 hours. And most importantly they give you a snack. I flew United the other day and was in the air for 7 hours. No snacks. Not a bag of pretzels, not a couple of peanuts, nothing but a 5 ounce cup of ice with an ounce and a half of coke in it. So, after being on a god damned airplane all day, I calculated the number of calories I’d ingested at 30. I won’t fly them again.

But enough of that rant. Northwest has their flaws as well. You see, I flew back and forth between the UP and the DC area 15 times over a 4 year period. And remarkably, they misplaced my baggage 8 of those times. There was always a transfer from a jet to a smaller 33 seat DC-10 in Detroit or Minneapolis. And not surprisingly, 100% of the time I changed planes in Detroit, they lost my bag. But of course, I only learned this after I did an analysis of my problems.

But there was another event that took place on the short flight from Detroit to the UP. To this day, I don’t know if it’s an indictment of Northwest or an example of a real Sully Sulenberg moment.

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A-Rod, Favre, LeBron, Tiger, and My Overall Dissatisfaction with ESPN

Jul 28th, 2010 by Small Arms McGee

Thanks to ESPN, I’m starting to hate summer.   And I really thought it would be decent.  I guess I was wrong.

Look, you Bristol hacks.  I really don’t care what Jared Allen thinks about whether or not Brett Favre is coming back.  We all know Brett Favre’s coming back; he’s just smart enough to know that he’s Brett Favre and OTAs and camp and media obligations and practice and warmups are beneath him.  Jared Allen knows this.  He’s just too cool of a guy to say “what a stupid question.  That’s all you wanted to ask me?”

I don’t care that A-Roid is stuck on 599.  He’ll hit 600 eventually.  MLB plays eleventy bajillion games per season.  Him crossing the 600 homer threshold won’t change the fact that despite his talents (many of which were heightened by cheat-drugs) he’s still one of the most overrated baseball players of all time.

Yes, we know that LeBron James is in Miami.  Thanks to the most embarrassingly shameful hour of television (in a year that brought us 100 Questions on NBC, mind you) we’ll never forget where we were the night that LeBron James decided to “take his talents to South Beach”.  Wake us up when those guys play a game.  We’ll be interested by then.

I also look forward to the PGA Championship next month, when SportsCenter will briefly mention the name of the leader, perhaps the second-place player, and then spend ten minutes describing how Tiger Woods is in 51st place, “only” nine shots out of contention with five holes to go.   OMG, will he make the comeback?!? I’ll also look forward to the repeated talking point of “Woods has not won a major tournament this year”.  That one makes me particularly annoyed, because it implies that major championships are so abundant that you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one, to borrow a turn of phrase from my Appalachian-American forebears.

Also, Stuart Scott needs to go somewhere and die.  If he could be so kind as to take Neil Everett with him, that’d be a nice touch.

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Luke Warm Linkage

Jul 28th, 2010 by Flop

I am sick and tired of these mother-@#$%ing snakes on my mother-@#$%ing arm.

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I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 49

Jul 27th, 2010 by Jose Kortez

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
I love mountain biking. It was fantastic when I lived in the Bitterroot mountains with National Forest land all over the place. Things were still good when I lived in California because I lived beside a mountain biking park. And when I moved to West Virginia, again, I lived near some great trails. So, I try to bike as often as I can, weather permitting now in the mountains of WV.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

My house is about a mile from the Appalachian Trail and there are 4 wheeler trails all over around the trail. I’ve ridden most of it and I can easily ride all the way into Virginia if I want because there is so much open space out there. I’ve got a couple of loops I ride often because they offer good rides and when I get bored with them, I’ll ride until I either get tired or I’m worried I’ll be too tired to get home, then I turn around and head back. Sometimes I’ll just go exploring.

I also love pizza and specifically cheese. The more cheese, bacon, or pepperoni on a pizza, the more I will love it. And the beauty of living next to great mountain bike trails is I can eat, then hop on my bike and go ride it off. So on this particular day, I woke up a little hung over and decided the cure would be a gatorade, a pizza, and a bike ride. I ate a Red Baron pizza that I topped with extra cheese and extra pepperoni. It was delicious and I was feeling good. I debated whether I had to use the bathroom and decided I should, so I took a leak and then grabbed the bike and locked the door.

I took off out from my driveway and within a mile and a half, I was deep into the woods surrounding the Appalachian Trail. I was feeling adventurous, so I decided to explore until I got tired and then backtrack home. I headed up a four wheeler trail, crossing the AT and then after reaching the top of a mountain, decided I was tired enough so I turned and headed back down. The nice thing about living on the river is that I can just about coast home from any place I ride to. As I got back into my neighborhood, I had the sensation of needing to poop. No big deal, I was still in the woods and could easily hide myself.

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The No-No Lotto

Jul 27th, 2010 by Michael Street

Since it’s apparent that any pitcher from a middle of the rotation innings eater to ace studs can throw a no-hitter this season, let’s look at who could be next.

1. Adam Wainwright (St. Louis). One of two Cardinal aces, Wainwright has a 1.94 ERA (2nd best in baseball), and he’s lights out at home. Odds of a no-hitter: 35%

2. C.C. Sabathia (New York). Big C.C. has motored along quietly in his second year in the Big Apple. He’s grown stronger with the season. Plus, 9 innings are common outings for Sabathia. Odds: 19%

3. Carl Pavano (Minnesota). Yankee fans cringe at his inclusion, but Pavano has experienced a career resurrection in the Twin Cities. The likelihood of him grabbing a no-no seems considerably greater than other. Odds: 7%

4. Josh Johnson (Florida). The best pitcher in baseball has to be on the list. His 1.61 ERA and 8 games of 1 run or less make him a very likely candidate for a no-no. Odds: 41%

5. Clay Buchholz (Boston). Buchholz has one no-hitter in a previous season, but 2010 is becoming his breakout year (and it also shows why the Red Sox were reluctant to trade him so many times). His only problem? The short porches in Fenway Park. Odds: 23%

6. Tim Hudson (Atlanta). The Braves ace is also having a very solid season. When he keeps his sinker ball down, as he has the majority of the season, then he’s very tough to hit. Odds: 16%

7. Matt Latos (San Diego). The All-Star snub has assumed the role of ace for the first place Padres during life without Jake Peavy. Can he continue the stellar season? Odds: 21%

8. John Danks (Chicago). It’s not easy to have a quiet season in the second biggest media market, but when you pitch behind Jake Peavy and Mark Buehrle, it’s a little easier. Odds: 11%

9. Roy Halladay (Philadelphia). He’s gotten a perfect game once this season against the Marlins, but he also has 3 shutouts and 7 complete games. Doc Halladay has the goods for a second no-no. Odds: 27%

**Disclaimer – The author of this article has very little knowledge of statistics. All odds were made up in his head.**

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Luke Warm Linkage

Jul 27th, 2010 by Flop

Turns out this is not a safe place to store your cell phone.

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MLB Round-Up Trade Deadline Bonanza Edition

Jul 26th, 2010 by Michael Street

The magical (and sometimes sleepless depending upon your viewpoint) non-waiver trade deadline is 5 days away for Major League Baseball. A few moves have been made (most notably pitchers Cliff Lee and Dan Haren), but the real flurries will begin around Friday and go throughout the day and night.

Team of the Week

American League – Minnesota Twins. In a week when no team truly stood out, the Twins have pulled out 7 wins in their last 10 games and have seemed to recapture some momentum after a mid-season stumble. They are notorious for furious finishes and could be buyers at the trade deadline which would be against their recent trends.

National League – San Francisco Giants. The one team with more than enough pitching seems to have hit its stride as of late. The Giants have won 4 straight, cut the gap from first place to 3 games, and have an awakening offense.

Position Player of the Week

American League – Miguel Cabrera (Detroit). I’m not sure how many times I’ve given this award to Miggy, but he could probably win it every week. A legitimate triple crown candidate, the Detroit first baseman blasted 2 homers, 6 doubles, drove in 9 runs, batted .500, slugged .929, and reached base 51% of the time. Then again, that’s just another week in the life of Miguel Cabrera.

National League – Jason Heyward (Atlanta). The 20 year old rookie phenom is also no stranger to this award, but he has rebounded from a June slump partially induced by an inflamed thumb. The young man batted .535 last week while also totaling 5 walks. His .613 on-base percentage shows his maturation at a young age.

Pitcher of the Week

American League – Wade Davis (Tampa Bay). The weekly awards are full of rookies this week with Heyward and now Davis. 14.1 innings pitched, 2 wins, 2 walks total, and a 1.88 ERA were Davis’ numbers for the week. David Price, Matt Garza, and Wade Davis are one helluva future trio for the Rays.

National League – Johnny Cueto (Cincinnati). In 2 starts this week, the Reds pitcher threw 14 innings, struck out 10, and recorded a 1.29 ERA. Cincinnati will need their young pitcher for the stretch runs against the Cardinals.

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