Flowcharting the 2010 NCAA Tournament

Want to dominate your office pool but don’t know a thing about college basketball?

This would be a great time to create water-cooler talk with the boss, wouldn’t it?

Well here at EJSIC, we’re here to provide exactly what the people want: below, you’ll find the key to winning your office pool, with the EJSIC 2010 NCAA Tournament flowchart.

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SEC Tournament Wrap-up

Well, we’ve reached the conclusion to the 2010 edition of the SEC tournament, and Kentucky fans will have something to smile about as they sit in traffic on I-65 north this afternoon.

Though the win can partly be attributed to the willingness of Mississippi State to be careless with the ball late in regulation, it took a couple of amazing plays by the Cats to seal the deal. The biggest of which being John Wall’s ridiculously tough 3 pointer late in overtime to make it a 4 point lead, and essentially sealing Miss St’s fate.

But there was more, and here are a couple of other tidbits from my view in the stands:

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Live, from the SEC Tournament

Welcome to the EJSIC’s Live Coverage of the SEC Tournament. I’ll give you updates as the night progresses.

7:15 – Florida vs. The world in here tonight. Kentucky fans making their preference heard.

7:38 – By the way, if anyone ever offers complementary parking, decline. Gonna be an effing 30 walk later on……

7:41 – Florida playing like garbage. They’re in easily with even a close loss, but a blowout could leave them sweating it on Selection Sunday.

7:48 – Boynton against the world.

7:51 – Boynton, Parsons, and Walker have 41 of Florida’s 45 points. BTW, no cowbell for MSU tonight. I’m told that’s a football only concept.

8:10 – Tension is rising in the stands. Some drunk guy just spilled the lady behind me’s $5 bottle of water. Meanwhile, Florida has clawed back to within 10.

8:21 – My 2 good buddies that are Florida fans scalped 2 tickets right in the middle of the Miss St section. Sucks for them. That’s a rowdy bunch.

8:25 – I believe there is something stuck in Dan Werner’s throat…..”chokin on a splinta”

8:35 – Well, that turned out to be a good ending. Florida saved face with a close finish. Put both these teams in the Dance.

Flask is empty. This sucks……

SEC Tournament: Day 1

Opening Day Report from Nashville

Well folks, day 1 is in the books, and quite frankly, it couldn’t come soon enough for the conference. The games today were, um…….ugly. To say the least. To be fair, only 2 of the 8  teams to play on Thursday have any shot at playing in the NCAA tournament, but this was not a good commercial for the conference.

The day started off with a bang, as South Carolina exploded out to an 18 point lead. The media was stoked. Downey/UK part 3 headlines were being written all along media row. But then something happened: South Carolina decided not to play the final 13 minutes, and ended up losing an ugly game by 5, 68-63.

What followed was a game that I don’t think anyone thinks was enjoyable, as Tennessee toyed around with LSU just enough to give their fans a bit of hope, before finally putting them away, 59-49.

The night session began with a Florida/Auburn matchup that pitted a team desperate for a win to increase their NCAA tournament chances, against a coach desperate for a win to save his job. Somehow, this game was close throughout, despite Florida outplaying the Tigers for the vast majority of the game. The scrappy Tigers kept clawing back from multiple 10+ point deficits, led by the excellent play of Frankie Sullivan. But it was no use, as Florida proved to be too much behind Chandler Parsons and Alex Tyus, both of which recorded more than 20 points in Florida’s 78-69 victory.

The nightcap was nothing to write home about. Both Georgia and Arkansas were extremely athletic, but not very skilled or disciplined. I left at half time to enjoy some of the finer things in life, but I’ll get to that later.

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EJSIC @ the SEC tournament

That’s right. Yours truly has been dispatched to provide up-to-the-minute updates live from the site of the 2010 SEC tournament at the “whatever-they’re-calling-it-now-that-the -Sommet-Group-failed-to-make-payment Center” in Nashville, TN. EJSIC will be your first stop for the sights, sounds, and even smells (if I can find a way to capture them on my phone) of the 2010 installment of the UK Invitational.

To get things started, here are the 3 biggest story lines heading into the tournament, and the 3 things I’m looking forward to the most:

Tournament Story Lines:

1. Will the runaway-train that has been the 2009-10 version of the Kentucky Wildcats continue their resurgence with a tournament title? The obvious favorites going in to the event, it will be interesting to see if the C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS will be able to continue to build on their 29-2 (14-2) record by capturing the tournament championship. THE most talented team in the country (IMO), the Cats have been dominant at home, but have proven to be shaky away from Rupp Arena, including losses at Tennessee and against the fightin’ Devon Downey’s, as well as close games against Vanderbilt, Mississippi State, and Auburn. It will be interesting to see how this freshman dominated team will perform in what will be the first college tournament situation for most.

Can anyone derail DeCuz and the UK crazy train?

All that said, make no mistake about it; Nashville will become Lexington south this weekend, just as it is whenever UK comes to town.

2. Bubbles bursting. It is my opinion that none of Florida, Ole Miss, and Mississippi State will make the Big Dance without a win in this tournament, and it is shaping up to be elimination Friday, with potential Tennessee/Ole Miss and Florida/Miss St matchups.

3. Who is SEC POY? The case for Devon Downey over either of John Wall or DeMarcus Cousins was a strong one after ‘lil Carolina’s upset of then #1 UK, but it has become increasingly difficult to ignore the team’s late season slide. However, Downey may have thrust himself back into consideration, after a 26 point performance last week at the dump that is Memorial Gym. With a deep tourney run, and perhaps another upset of Kentucky should they beat ‘Bama on Thursday, things could get interesting.

Things I’m Looking Forward To:

Bruce Pearl is a show unto himself.

1. Vandy fans. I was at the SEC/Sun Belt Classic in mid-December, which showcased MTSU vs. Tennessee and Vandy vs. Western Kentucky at the same venue as the SEC tournament. Vandy fans showed why they were the joke of the SEC by managing to attract **maybe** 200 fans to a game in their hometown. Meanwhile, WKU had 6-8 thousand, and were a raucous bunch. No one would have guessed they were the team 4-3 heading in and Vandy was the team nationally ranked. Well Vandy fans (or as I like to call them, “Alabama football fans“), here’s your chance to redeem yourselves. I don’t expect any more than 400 of you, so don’t disappoint me.

2. A live view of “Dermal Soul Glo I’ve heard stories, but I want to see for myself if Bruce really does glow.

3. Demarcus Cousins. I’ve been eagerly awaiting this ticking-time-bomb’s explosion all year. If this kid played in the ACC, he already would have been involved in brawls with Chas McFarland and Ryan Reid, and having the opposing fans get a hold of your phone number would be a weekly ordeal. But even in a league as physically flaccid as the SEC, Cousins has been driven to temper tantrums and dirty plays numerous times. If he’s gonna flip out, and he will eventually, I just want to be there to see it.

I’m also looking forward to some “pity” beers to be bought for me by those feeling sorry for me, in my North Carolina t-shirt, although I don’t expect Kentucky fans to be overly willing to support my cause…………..dafunk…………….out.

Got a question, an angle you’d like me to cover at the tourney, or some hate-filled garbage to spew???? Shoot me an email at dafunk.EJSIC@yahoo.com, and I’ll get back to ya ASAP.

Elitist Jerk of the Week; 2/18/2010

Check out the gun show over here. BOOM.

Apparently public enemy number 1, Tiger Woods, has had enough of banging the loose women down at his Mississippi sex addiction clinic, and has decided that a select few, hand picked media members will be awarded the opportunity to watch him, live, and in person, recite a statement nearly 4 months in the making.

I know what you’re thinking: “Wow dafunk. That’s a lot of commas.”

I agree. It’s absurd.

Anywho, it is impressive that a man who was once the biggest sports star on the planet [but has since proven himself to be a complete and total fraud] has the gumption to lay down the law like that to the sports media.

Quite frankly, he’s an inspiration to elitist jerks everywhere, and that is why he is the inaugural Elistist Jerk of the Week.

Biggest loser in this whole affair: The public, for being exposed to the thought of Tiger having sex with this.

Biggest winner: Perkins Restaurant. As long as they capitalize on the Lawton/Woods saga by [in]appropriately modifying their current “Breakfast is Just the Beginning” slogan. Its really just, too easy…..(TWSS)