Forever 92 Club Claims Newest Members

With the news of crotchety opinion magnate Andy Rooney’s passing last Friday still fresh on our minds, the entertainment world has lost another titan. Writer/Producer/Director Hal Kanter passed away yesterday at the age of 92…the same age, coincidentally as Rooney.

Well, I use the term “coincidentally” loosely.  They were really just the latest casualties of the curse known as The Forever 92 Club.

Musicians may get all the notoriety with their so-called Forever 27 Club – a distinguished list of stars who died at 27 that includes names like Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain and, recently, Winehouse, but, no one cares to look at the darker, far-more-tragic 92 Club.

In fact, the rate at which the Forever 92 rakes in victims puts the 27 Club to shame.  Just this past September, lovable character actress, Frances Bay, of Seinfeld and Happy Gilmore fame, joined its esteemed ranks.  It took over 17 years for Amy Winehouse to enter Forever 27 after its previous newest member, Nirvana singer, Kurt Cobain was added to the list.  But, Forever 92 knows no such patience.  Three stars in less than 2 months join the throng of unfortunate souls that were claimed before their time by the dreaded F92C.

Other members of this elite club include:

John Forsythe
Walter Cronkite
Lena Horne
Van Johnson
Senator Robert Byrd
Dom Dimaggio
Alger Hiss
Dick Winters (Of Band of Brothers fame)
Civil Rights Crusader, Rosa Parks
Jazz Musician, Snooky Young
MLB Pitcher, Bob Feller
Imogene Coca
Dancer, Ruth Page
Sports Announcer, Ernie Harwell
Cryogenics Pioneer, Robert Ettinger
Actress, Claudette Colbert
Publisher, Harold McGraw
Jockey, William L. Passmore
Paul Warfield Tibbets, Jr. (Pilot of the Enola Gay)
Composer, Virgil Thomsen
Designer, Oleg Cassini
Voice Actor, Jackson Beck
Record Producer, Israel Horowitz
Author, Tasha Tudor
Cyclist, Harry Hill
Horticulturist, Morgan “Bill” Evans
Inventor, Joseph Francis
General William Hood Simpson
Sir Étienne Dupuch 1
Mathematician, André Weil
Rugby Great, Haydn Tanner
Urban Planner, Robert Moses
and
Mary Montagu Douglas Scott, Duchess of Buccleuch

And these are just the most famous members.  I’m sure there are others that time has simply overlooked.

Take it for whatever it is, there is something about celebrity that just doesn’t allow for one to grow obscenely-old. These stars burned bright for just a tad more than 9 scant decades.

 

1 – Sir Étienne died mysteriously in his garden after catching fire trying to destroy an ants nest only fueling the mystique of the curse.

Texas High School To Build $60 Million Stadium

That's a lot of room for mackin'.

Today’s sign of the apocalypse? Allen High School is set to build a $60 Million stadium (pictured above) for their local team. Unreal.

Here are the specs courtesy of The Pigskin Doctors:

  • Video Scoreboard
  • Two level press box with film deck and Observation deck
  • Home side reserved seating with seat backs
  • 1,5000 additional parking spaces with 4,500 total parking spaces
  • 18,000 seat Stadium with upper deck seating including:
    • 5,000 reserved seating,
    • 2,700 General Admission
    • 4,000 Students
    • 5,300 Visitor
    • 1,000 Band

Again, a HIGH SCHOOL team will be playing in this stadium. There are high school fields in Kentucky that basically consist of a pair of metal bleachers and some white spray paint. You could probably buy every field in this state for $60 million. Mind boggling.

Anyway, if you picking a high school to play football at, and most talented players are nowadays, I’d say Allen is the way to go. If nothing else, there are 18,000 seats to hide under with your girlfriend on Saturday nights.

World News Agencies Turn To Harry

News agencies from around the globe are scrambling to fill the void left now that William and Kate are married.

The build-up to last Friday’s Royal Wedding was a media blitz unlike any seen in the past decade. Television networks, magazines and newspapers all spent months and months anticipating the Royal nuptials. And, they brought millions (Note: NOT billions) of viewers along for the ride.  The media frenzy was an infinite supply of minute details for those who were interested, a never-ending nuisance to those who weren’t and just plain inescapable for half of the world.

So, now what?  How do you top a spectacle like that once it is over?  How does the international press rise above the biggest media-hangover on record?

Well, the world is looking to William’s younger brother, Harry, to satiate that need.

Come on, Harry. The world needs you!

Media outlets are already turning their attention to the young prince who, despite being nowhere near engaged – let alone married – is the only one who could live up to, or even outdo William and Kate’s fête. Rumors that one American TV network has sent Harry a lengthy list of potential princesses to move the process along are already swirling.  Another agency is said to have signed the Prince of Wales up for multiple online dating services such as eHarmony.com and Match.com.  A spokesperson for E! Entertainment Television declined to comment about a reality-based show alleged to be in pre-production that would send undetermined members of the Kardashian family to London in hopes of wooing Diana’s youngest son.

“Whatever we can do to help the boy out, we’re in,” an unnamed source told us on Sunday. “We all had such a great time covering Will and Kate’s wedding, that we simply want to keep the energy going.  And, the sooner Harry gets married, the sooner we can all get back to doing what we love: excessive pandering.”

It remains to be seen what actions Harry takes to ensure the media outlets get their chance to shine once again.  But, whatever they are…you can be certain that we will know every detail possible thanks to the greatest news companies in the world.