How To Make The 2014 Winter Olympics Awesome

There have been many surprisingly exciting and interesting (even emotional) stories to come out of Vancouver this winter.  And while the Winter Olympics tend to elicit apathy, at best, from the average sports fan, I would say that the Vancouver games have been mostly successful in terms of being watchable.  Which is pretty good.

But, let’s be honest here.  To most people, the Winter Games SUCK…especially in comparison to the Summer Games.

So, with 4 years to plan for the next Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, we have some ideas to help the host committee and the IOC make 2014 the most exciting and successful Winter Olympics yet.

1) More exciting events.

The past few Olympiads have seen a significant rise in youth interest due to inclusion of  such events as the Halfpipe and Snowboard Cross.  This year’s games saw another exciting addition with the debut of  Ski Cross.  We say, let’s continue that trend.  Let’s create or modify some events to get even more thrill-happy viewers to tune in.   Here are just a few suggestions we think might be worth looking at: Continue reading

From America: F U Frenchy McCanada!

French Canadians? They might as well be Nazis.

French Canadians? They might as well be Nazis.

Short Track speed skating is one of the more exciting unpredictable Winter Olympic events, and American Apolo Anton Ohno is pretty darn good at it. Thus far, in the last three Winter Olympics, he has won a US record 7 medals, which is a pretty sad record compared to Michael Phelps 8 gold medals in one Summer Games.

Well, Ohno was set to win another gold medal in the 1500 meter short track, making a move into second, when Francois Hamlien (after being passed) gave Ohno a shove that knocked him off his balance. This effectively secured a gold and silver for the South Koreans.

That’s right, his name is Francois. Not only did a Frenchman in Canadian spandex bump the American Ohno back two spots, he was also instrumental in getting another American, JR Celski, disqualified. In that race, Celski passed Francois* and in response, Franc gave Celski a shove that sent the smug Frenchman into the wall. The officials reviewed, and despite Frenchy’s third place position at the time of the contact, he was advanced to the finals while Celski was disqualified. It’s the kind of homecooking you would expect at Cameron Indoor Stadium.

The only solace Americans can take is that despite his antics, neither he, nor his brother, won any medals in the fiasco. Thus further depriving America’s Maple Syrup-Soaked Hat from their lofty Olympic goal of winning the medal count.


*Just like most of the commentators covering the Winter Olympics I have no idea what the actual rules of speed skating are. But I think we can all agree that Canada sucks.

The Case for Curling

It has rugged terms like “stones,” “hack” and “the hammer.”  It’s probably more mentally demanding than it is physical.  And, even in an Olympic setting, it looks as though it reeks of cheap beer as much as any other game found down at the corner bar.

It’s curling.

The Scottish-born, Canadian-raised rock and broom on ice phenomenon that has gone from punchline to must-see TV…at least in the VJ household.

We won’t risk losing the casual reader by getting into the details of scoring or strategy here.  We won’t discuss the advantages and drawbacks of Teflon shoes, or even the difference between the Skip and Lead.  There will be no exploratory discussion of “ends” or “the house” in this article.  But we do feel that it is important that this little-known and quirky sport be given it’s due chance to be seen by an awaiting public.

Mainly, due to some of its participants at this year’s games in Vancouver.  Take the following few examples for instance:

Denmark's Madeleine Dupont

Russia's Ekaterina Galkina

Japan's Mari Motohashi

Germany's Melanie Robillard

Do we have your attention now?

Now, we here at EJSIC, realize that on the grand scale of Olympic hotness, this doesn’t compete with, say, Women’s Beach Volleyball at the Summer Olympics or, heck, even the Women’s Downhill Medal Podium at this very same Winter games…but these brave, broom-wielding women from around the world have still managed to find a way to curl a 38-pound rock of affection right around the guard and onto the button of our heart.

Go get ‘em, ladies.  You make us proud.

Russian commies at it again

Enter the world of Olympic figure skating (how is it that I keep writing about gay topics such as nude NBA players and now figure skating?) where Russian Evgeni Plushenko has returned us to the Cold War in an old fashioned USA vs Russia showdown. The commie called out American figure skater Evan Lysacek for not incorporating a “quad jump” into his routine.


That's a commie if I've ever seen one.

America, we can just stand by and let this happen, figure skating or not. He’s calling out all of us. Figure skating may not be as masculine as football or John Wayne, but, by God, we are America and we don’t take smart-ass comments from anybody, especially a Russian.

So, channel your inner Colbert and be proud of the nation on Thursday night. Stand in your living rooms and cheer on Lysacek when he puts that commie down. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A.