2013 Dead Pool

It’s that time again.  2012 was a pretty epic year for celeb deaths. With any luck, 2013 will be just as exciting.

Here’s a reminder of the rules:

Each player submits a numeric list of 10 celebrities they think will kick it in 2012. The order listed determines the points available.


1. Celeb A (10 points)
2. Celeb B (9 points)
3. Celeb C (8 points)
4. Celeb D (7 points)
5. Celeb E (6 points)
6. Celeb F (5 points)
7. Celeb G (4 points)
8. Celeb H (3 points)
9. Celeb I (2 points)
10. Celeb J (1 point)

If a celebrity on your list shuffles off, you may then replace them in the same numeric spot on the list with another name not already on your list. EJSIC is NOT responsible for replacement picks that go unpicked. All participants are responsible for giving a replacement pick in the comments section below or by sending capnwacky a personal message on the EJSIC message board once their pick requires a replacement.

As with last year, there will be an added 10 point bonus awarded for any correct pick made of celebrity under the age of 40 who actually dies. The bonus points will be given in addition to the points from one’s list.

All submissions need to be posted by 11:59:59pm on January 2, 2013. All picks at that time are final. Picks prior to that deadline can be edited. Play continues until the end of December. Player with the most points at the end of 2013 wins*.

Get out there and pick some winners!

* – Nothing.

The Entries

capnwacky (9 points)
1. Nelson Mandela
2. Bonnie Franklin, Hugo Chavez
3. Nancy Reagan
4. Billy Graham
5. Bob Barker
6. George H.W. Bush
7. Christopher Lee
8. Luise Rainer
9. Mickey Rooney
10. Ke$ha

Prophet (3 points)
1. Hosni Mubarak
2. George Beverly Shea
3. Luise Rainer
4. Carla Laemmle
5. Alicia Rhett
6. Eli Wallach
7. Zsa Zsa Gabor
8. Bonnie Franklin,
9. Bel Kaufman
10. “Professor” Irwin Corey

Flop Floppenhauffer (1 point)
1. George H.W. Bush
2. Harper Lee
3. Kirk Douglas
4. Billy Graham
5. George Wendt
6. Zsa Zsa Gabor
7. Nelson Mandela
8. Jake Lamotta
9. Stephen Hawking
10. Patty Andrews, Eli Wallach

BlueDog (0 points)
1. Erich Priebke
2. Harper Lee
3. Eli Wallach
4. Billy Graham
5. Fidel Castro
6. Herman Wouk
7. Olivia de Havilland
8. Kirk Douglas
9. Hugo Chavez
10. Hosni Mubarak

angryauton (0 points)
1. Abe Vigoda
2. Billy Graham
3. Hugo Chavez
4. Kirk Douglas
5. Dean Smith
6. Jerry Lewis
7. Bashar Al Assad
8. Nick Nolte
9. Muhammad Ali
10. Jimmy Carter

ttt (0 points)
1. Hugo Chavez
2. Clive James
3. Jerry Lewis
4. Fidel Castro
5. Bert Reynolds
6. Zsa Zsa Gabor
7. Harper Lee
8. Ronnie Biggs
9. Harold Camping
10. Kirk Douglas

zachroyse (0 points)
1. Harper Lee
2. George H.W. Bush
3. Kirk Douglas
4. Billy Graham
5. Zsa Zsa Gabor
6. Aretha Franklin
7. Nelson Mandela
8. Muhammad Ali
9. Bobby Bowden
10. PSY

EstebanBugatti (0 points)
1. George H.W. Bush
2. Lil Wayne
3. Fidel Castro
4. Ja Rule
5. Muhammad Ali
6. Benzino
7. Billy Graham
8. Stephen Hawking
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Charlie Sheen

godzillabj (0 points)
1. Jack Pardee
2. Hugo Chavez
3. Nelson Mandela
4. Zsa Zsa Gabor
5. Penny Marshall
6. Bashar Al-Assad
7. Fidel Castro
8. Fred Phelps
9. Eli Wallach
10. Lindsay Lohan

wxgurl (0 points)
1. Queen Elizabeth II
2. Kirk Douglas
3. Zsa Zsa Gabor
4. Nelson Mandela
5. Margaret Thatcher
6. Harper Lee
7. Abe Vigoda
8. Don Rickles
9. Cloris Leachman
10. Barbara Bush

Beano (0 points)
1. Bernie Madoff
2. Bob Dole
3. Don Pardo
4. Michael Douglas
5. Walter Mondale
6. Richard Attenborough
7. Don Rickles
8. Stephen Hawking
9. George Jones
10. Tracy Morgan

AZCats1993 (0 points)
1. Nelson Mandela
2. Zsa Zsa Gabor
3. Roger Moore
4. Vin Scully
5. William “Fridge” Perry
6. Don Pardo
7. Cloris Leachman
8. Margaret Thatcher
9. Mary Kate Olsen
10. Hugh Hefner

accownsu (0 points)
1. Dean Smith
2. Zsa Zsa Gabor
3. Dick Cheney
4. Bernie Madoff
5. Nelson Mandela
6. Artie Lange
7. Fidel Castro
8. Chuck Berry
9. George H.W. Bush
10. Jerry Lewis

forsythal (0 points)
1. Olivia de Haviland
2. Eli Wallach
3. Maureen O’Hara
4. Reverend Sun Myung Moon
5. Abe Vigoda
6. Jonathan Winters
7. Helmut Schmidt
8. Christopher Plummer
9. George Jones
10. Rick Ross

Penny (0 points)
1. Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. George Wendt
3. Fidel Castro
4. Kirk Douglas
5. Abe Vigoda
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Aretha Franklin
8. Merle Haggard
9. Ronnie Biggs
10. Macauley Culkin

josekortez (0 points)
1. Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. Kirk Douglas
3. John Madden
4. Lou Holtz
5. George H.W. Bush
6. Barbara Bush
7. Angela Landsbury
8. Betty White
9. Bob Dole
10. Larry King

cbatower (0 points)
1. Roger Ebert
2. Fidel Castro
3. Zsa Zsa Gabor
4. Jake LaMotta
5. Nelson Mandella
6. Kirk Douglas
7. Aretha Franklin
8. Lindsay Lohan
9. Merle Haggard
10. Frankie Muniz

ltaccfan (0 points)
1. Nancy Reagan
2. Kirk Douglas
3. Jerry Lewis
4. George H. W. Bush
5. Muhammad Ali
6. Queen Elizabeth II
7. Charlie Sheen
8. Pope Benedict XVI
9. Fidel Castro
10. Dick Cheney

rockchalk010 (0 points)
1. Phil Pressey
2. Tony Criswell
3. Corey Haith
4. Keion Bell
5. Dominique Bull
6. Frank Haith
7. Laurence Bowers
8. Earnest Ross
9. Alex Oriakhi
10. Jabari Brown

angryapple (0 points)
1. Larry King
2. Hugh Hefner
3. George H.W. Bush
4. Madeline Albright
5. Sepp Blatter
6. Gary Bettman
7. Snoop Dogg
8. Paris Hilton
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Mario Ballotelli

Forever 92 Club Claims Newest Members

With the news of crotchety opinion magnate Andy Rooney’s passing last Friday still fresh on our minds, the entertainment world has lost another titan. Writer/Producer/Director Hal Kanter passed away yesterday at the age of 92…the same age, coincidentally as Rooney.

Well, I use the term “coincidentally” loosely.  They were really just the latest casualties of the curse known as The Forever 92 Club.

Musicians may get all the notoriety with their so-called Forever 27 Club – a distinguished list of stars who died at 27 that includes names like Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain and, recently, Winehouse, but, no one cares to look at the darker, far-more-tragic 92 Club.

In fact, the rate at which the Forever 92 rakes in victims puts the 27 Club to shame.  Just this past September, lovable character actress, Frances Bay, of Seinfeld and Happy Gilmore fame, joined its esteemed ranks.  It took over 17 years for Amy Winehouse to enter Forever 27 after its previous newest member, Nirvana singer, Kurt Cobain was added to the list.  But, Forever 92 knows no such patience.  Three stars in less than 2 months join the throng of unfortunate souls that were claimed before their time by the dreaded F92C.

Other members of this elite club include:

John Forsythe
Walter Cronkite
Lena Horne
Van Johnson
Senator Robert Byrd
Dom Dimaggio
Alger Hiss
Dick Winters (Of Band of Brothers fame)
Civil Rights Crusader, Rosa Parks
Jazz Musician, Snooky Young
MLB Pitcher, Bob Feller
Imogene Coca
Dancer, Ruth Page
Sports Announcer, Ernie Harwell
Cryogenics Pioneer, Robert Ettinger
Actress, Claudette Colbert
Publisher, Harold McGraw
Jockey, William L. Passmore
Paul Warfield Tibbets, Jr. (Pilot of the Enola Gay)
Composer, Virgil Thomsen
Designer, Oleg Cassini
Voice Actor, Jackson Beck
Record Producer, Israel Horowitz
Author, Tasha Tudor
Cyclist, Harry Hill
Horticulturist, Morgan “Bill” Evans
Inventor, Joseph Francis
General William Hood Simpson
Sir Étienne Dupuch 1
Mathematician, André Weil
Rugby Great, Haydn Tanner
Urban Planner, Robert Moses
Mary Montagu Douglas Scott, Duchess of Buccleuch

And these are just the most famous members.  I’m sure there are others that time has simply overlooked.

Take it for whatever it is, there is something about celebrity that just doesn’t allow for one to grow obscenely-old. These stars burned bright for just a tad more than 9 scant decades.


1 – Sir Étienne died mysteriously in his garden after catching fire trying to destroy an ants nest only fueling the mystique of the curse.

2010 People’s Choice Awards recap

In the interest of full disclosure, the reviewer freely admits to not watching the entire broadcast.  So, here is the review of the parts he did watch.

This is either Taylor Lautner or Taylor Swift.  We don't know the difference.

This is either Taylor Lautner or Taylor Swift. We don't know the difference.

I tuned in to America’s 23th most popular award show last night just in time to see the Temp, the Bear Jew and Bridget von Hammersmark presenting the award for Favorite Breakout Movie Actor.  To an ear-splitting eruption of shrill, prepubescent screams and female orgasms, that Taylor dude from New Moon beat out new Kirk, new Spock, a robot and the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun for the “honor.”

In lieu of trying to watch his speech through the sound of hysterical, young girls becoming women at decibels meant to force information out of detainees at Gitmo, I turned the channel and watched Cougar Town.

Perhaps next year, I can make it through 2 whole categories.  Until then…enjoy Awards Show Season!


World News Agencies Turn To Harry

News agencies from around the globe are scrambling to fill the void left now that William and Kate are married.

The build-up to last Friday’s Royal Wedding was a media blitz unlike any seen in the past decade. Television networks, magazines and newspapers all spent months and months anticipating the Royal nuptials. And, they brought millions (Note: NOT billions) of viewers along for the ride.  The media frenzy was an infinite supply of minute details for those who were interested, a never-ending nuisance to those who weren’t and just plain inescapable for half of the world.

So, now what?  How do you top a spectacle like that once it is over?  How does the international press rise above the biggest media-hangover on record?

Well, the world is looking to William’s younger brother, Harry, to satiate that need.

Come on, Harry. The world needs you!

Media outlets are already turning their attention to the young prince who, despite being nowhere near engaged – let alone married – is the only one who could live up to, or even outdo William and Kate’s fête. Rumors that one American TV network has sent Harry a lengthy list of potential princesses to move the process along are already swirling.  Another agency is said to have signed the Prince of Wales up for multiple online dating services such as eHarmony.com and Match.com.  A spokesperson for E! Entertainment Television declined to comment about a reality-based show alleged to be in pre-production that would send undetermined members of the Kardashian family to London in hopes of wooing Diana’s youngest son.

“Whatever we can do to help the boy out, we’re in,” an unnamed source told us on Sunday. “We all had such a great time covering Will and Kate’s wedding, that we simply want to keep the energy going.  And, the sooner Harry gets married, the sooner we can all get back to doing what we love: excessive pandering.”

It remains to be seen what actions Harry takes to ensure the media outlets get their chance to shine once again.  But, whatever they are…you can be certain that we will know every detail possible thanks to the greatest news companies in the world.

Movie Review: Inception

Remember the last film review where I said that I don’t like spoiling movies by giving out plot point? Well, Inception is going to really test me, but I think I figured out a way to write about it. Without further ado…. my review:

I have a headache just thinking about it... but in a good way.

Inception is about Leo DiCaprio who plays a ____________ who _____________ and _____________ with __________ then _____________. The best part is when _____________ and Leo ___________ ____________ ___________ __ _________ _______. But the real crazy part is _____________ and ____________ ____________ when she __________ then ____________ and they ___________.

It blew my mind. The effects were absolutely amazing, and how Christopher Nolan got snubbed is beyond me. There are many movies that lose something when they go to video, as opposed to seeing them in the theater, but I saw Inception in the theater and have the Blu-Ray disc, it holds up very well.

Sadly, for how much I liked this movie, I don’t think it’s going to win much this year. But it’s still an excellent movie with loads of action and a mind-bending-numbing plot.

Oscar Nominations Are Out!

The nominees for the 83rd Annual Academy Awards were announced early yesterday morning, and as usual there are some surprises and some snubs. Here’s a quick run through of the major categories.

Best Picture:

The Social Network, Black Swan, True Grit, The King’s Speech, Inception…. pretty much all you need to know. The rest were just filler because the academy decided last year to expand the category from 5 films to 10 films.

Best Actor:

Javier Bardem, Jeff Bridges, Colin Firth, Jesse Eisenberg, James Franco.

Where’s Leonardo DiCaprio? Why does the Academy hate him so much? And where’s Marky Mark?

Best Actress:

Annette Bening, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lawrence, Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams

The Academy took out Halle Berry and placed in Golden Globe Best Actress in a Comedy/musical nominee Annette Bening. Other than that, it’s the nominees for Best Actress- Drama for the Golden Globes.

Best Director:

Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan, The Coen Brothers – True Grit, David Fincher – The Social Network, Tom Hooper – The King’s Speech, David O. Russell –  The Fighter

Are you kidding me? No Christopher Nolan? Seriously?!

There’s your quick and dirty rundown of the main 4 categories for the 2011 Oscars. Check back for movie reviews of some of the Best Picture nominees, and see who the Jerks’ pick for the awards. Don’t forget to mark your calendars: Sunday February  27, 8/7 central, the awards will be handed out.