Natalie Portman To Be Stripped Of Golden Globe?

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has found itself in a difficult position.

Natalie Portman enjoys the highest point of her career...a mere 6 days before the lowest kicked in.

Less than a week after Natalie Portman, 29, snagged the Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture Drama award, the non-profit organization’stop brass are now faced with a unprecedented decision to possibly take the award away from Portman.

“It was not something that we premeditated,” an unnamed spokesperson revealed yesterday. “We just want to make sure that the award went to an actress that was truly deserving of it.”

When asked what aspect of her critically lauded performance in Darren Aronofsky’s dark-thriller Black Swan caused the concern, the spokesperson balked.  “Oh, no.  No, it has nothing to do with Black Swan.  We loved her in that.  It’s just that we…we screened No Strings Attached last night and, well, it just made us rethink some things.”

The HFPA has said that they won’t make a decision until they’ve had a chance to look at all of the data.  But, that early signs were not good.

“It was awful.  Certainly not Golden Globe caliber. I’m not sure we’ll be able to forget this one for a while.” The spokesperson said.  “Not, at least, until Friends With Benefits comes out this summer.”

More as this story develops.

Kanye West Needs A Job

I have a Twitter account.

I’ve tweeted exactly 3 times in the lifetime of my Twitter account.

I check it occasionally only to see what the 2 dozen or so people/organizations that I follow have been up to.

Tonight, during a bit of a boring patch watching the Kansas/Baylor game, I opened my Twitter feed to see if anything interesting was happening.

This is what I found:

(click to enlarge)

Keepin' it low so everybody else don't have to know


Somebody needs a hobby.

Blake Edwards Finally Able To Roll Over In His Grave

Renowned comedic director, Blake Edwards, passed away yesterday at the age of 88.  A master of heartfelt comedy and drama alike, Edwards was probably best known for his classic slapstick style, as showcased in the original Pink Panther movies starring Peter Sellers.

Edwards and Sellers made seven Pink Panther movies together:  The Pink Panther (1963), A Shot In the Dark (1964), Inspector Clouseau (1968), Return of the Pink Panther (1975), The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976),  Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) and Trail of the Pink Panther* (1982).

Edwards went on to make Curse of the Pink Panther (1983) and Son of the Pink Panther (1993) after Sellers shuffled off to the great gymnasium reum in the sky.

Blake Edwards DID NOT, however, make the abortion that was the 2006 Steve Martin disaster or its completely unnecessary and equally unspeakable 2009 sequel.

Yeah, this guy made The Jerk and LA Story.

Edwards was given a writing credit for the both movies since he created the characters…but I’m sure, privately, he couldn’t have been sadder.

At press time, burial plans had not been made public for the man who gave us Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Victor/Victoria.  But, you can rest assured that as soon as he IS buried, Edwards will undoubtedly be able to end the 4 year wait and finally roll over in his grave.

RIP, Mr. Edwards.  Here’s hoping that Hollywood will let you.

*-Made after Sellers’ death with footage from The Pink Panther Strikes Again as a tribute to the iconic comedian.

EJSIC’s Rocket to the Sun 2010

It’s that time of year again.

The leaves have all turned.  There’s a crisp coolness in the air.  The premature sounds of a random Christmas song or two are already permeating our collective brains.  College basketball has started.

And, it’s time to launch some more jack socks into oblivion.

As with last year’s inaugural EJSIC rocket, the guidelines remain the same.  If society at large is done with them.  If they have long outlived their actual or perceived welcome.  If they are just generally douche bags who are beyond salvation.  Simply surprise them with the gift that keeps on giving…a ticket on a theoretical rocket that is launched directly into the sun.

1. Kate Gosselin – After years of waiting standby only to get bumped at the last minute, Ms. Gosselin’s ticket is finally punched.  Not only will her presence on the rocket benefit most of humanity, but I’m pretty sure her 500 kids will be better off without her constant fame-mugging as well. (ht: Jose Kortez)

2. Brett Favre – My sincerest apologies for not having the old gray tool on an earlier trip.  Perhaps we all could have been spared the omnipresent media coverage and..um…unwanted personal details had I acted sooner.  Forgive me.

3. Justin Bieber - The kid is a punk.  He has terrible hair.  He sings like a howler monkey.  And, in 6 years, he’ll be dead from an overdose anyway.  So, I’m doing him a favor, really.

4. Christine O’Donnell – That was way too close, Delaware.  Let’s make sure this never happens again, okay?

5. The Wonder Pets – I recently had a child.  If my son is to grow up in a loving and nurturing environment and become a man that contributes great things to this world…the Wonder Pets simply cannot exist.  Technically, I know there are 3 of them, but they are small and won’t take up much room.  And when they start singing 2 seconds into the flight, the other passengers will more than likely pick them off one at a time anyway.

6. Kobe Bryant - Alright.  You’ve proved your point.  Now retire…or vaporize.  Either one.

7. Charlie Sheen – Honestly, I have nothing against Charlie.  I like Charlie.  His seat on this rocket has nothing to do with his personal antics.  But, it DOES have everything to do with the fact that his extinction is apparently the only thing that will get Two and a Half Men off the air once and for all.

That’s my rocket for 2010.  As always, dear readers, let me know who would go on yours.

In Memoriam

Paul the Octopus has died.

I’ll let that sink in for a moment.

Paul the Octopus…is no longer with us.  The world has lost a great sports fan and ambassador.  Words can’t truly express the void his passing will leave in our hearts.

Paul became an international superstar this past summer when he famously and correctly predicted  winners in all 8 matches he was presented with.

Prior to that, Paul lived a mostly quiet life in his Oberhausen, Germany aquarium.   That is, until his gift was discovered.  He honed his prediction skills during the 2008 Euro cup and became a sensation with his perfect World Cup in 2010.

But, with rising fame, the cautionary tale often warns, comes the crushing fall.  And, like so many bright, young stars before him, Paul burned out in glorious fashion at the tender age of 2 1/2.

Paul the Octopus.

He loved soccer.

He loved life.

He loved sucking the heads of Copepods.

And he will be missed.