Monthly Archives: August 2011

Elitist Jerk Classics: “Kanye West: The Voice of a Generation”

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Editor’s Note: The following is a re-post from a while back. We’ll be posting these from time to time as a way of letting a new audience see some great posts they might have missed.

Those who have watched the media frenzy regarding Mr. West and his antics must recognize that one of the most epic battles in the past decade has ensued, possibly worse than when President Clinton made his infamous “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” speech [and the subsequent federal trial]. This battle is much more subtle, however its casualties are becoming painfully obvious to the observant viewer.

Kanye West vs. Everybody. Edge, Kanye. Here are some classic examples to illustrate the casualties:

No amount of wizzardry can stop this man

Kanye vs. Dumbledore

Kanye, the classic movie connoisseur (right); He knows a good wizard when he sees one, and I must concur that Gandalf was the greatest wizard of all time…after all he had Frodo Baggins. Who exactly does Dumbledore have? Harry Potter. A questionably homosexual wizard in training, with a terrible British accent. As an aside, is it possible that HP ( yes I did just call him “HP”) could be a more terrible wizard? At risk of losing all of my man cards in one single, foul, despicable act I willingly submit to the fact that I have in fact seen the damn movies. This guy is a terrible wizard, all of his peers are better than him. Think about it. Continue reading →

My Wife’s New NFL Team Update #2: We Have A Winner

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I have been stumped for the past nine days.  In the last phase of this search for a new NFL team for my wife to cheer for, I’ve been trying to weigh the appropriate pros and cons of the final four teams in order to come to an informed and guilt-free decision.

The Packers, while mostly harmless, have been successful as of late.  So, there is a legit tendency to want to avoid bandwagonry at all costs. And Brett Favre played for them for half a century or something.  So, it’s tough to love them.  Then again, they were jilted by number 4. But, as has been stated, their fans wear cheese hats. So, who knows?

The Jets are still tempting.  Mostly, because each time I mention them as a possibility around here, another of my Patriot-fan friend’s head explodes.  Which is really, really fun to watch.  However, Brett Favre played for them for half an hour or something.  So, it’s tough to love them.

The Seattle Seahawks are still a great choice.  But, the geography just doesn’t help.  Are they even ON television outside of the Pacific Northwest?  Would it be worse than being a fan of her native Rams? So many questions.

The Minnesota Vikings wear purple, which is a stupid, stupid color for a sports team. I generally like every person I have ever met from Minnesota, so, I could see my wife becoming one of those very nice people.  But, Brett Favre played for them for a couple of seasons…so, man…how did I end up letting THREE teams that Favre played for make the final cut?  See. This is why I shouldn’t be entrusted to such decisions.

Which is why I decided that I am not going to make this decision.  I am turning to a higher power: our 11 month-old son. Continue reading →

Luke Warm Linkage

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Coming soon to a Piggly Wiggly near you.

One Sentence Review: MTV’s Death Valley

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As always, Joe attempts to cram the entirety of his feelings for something in pop culture into one, brief and often-grammatically-disastrous sentence.  Today’s installment: MTV’s new Reno: 911 meets zombie/vampire/werewolf cliches, Death Valley.

Death Valley: A promising concept – in the hands of 10th graders – that makes the Meet the Spartans guys look like Billy Wilder.

 

Get Over Yourself, New York

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The first thing I have to say right off the bat: I grew up my entire life less than 30 miles from New York City. A five minute drive from my front door could take me to a spot on the highway where I could see the New York City skyline. I am also a current resident of New York City. Most of my friends and family live here and adore the place. I have an appreciation for the good parts of the city, and am having a blast living here.

But it has to be said: New York needs to get over itself. The most self-aggrandizing, holier-than-thou, self-righteous douchenozzles populate the streets around me, and this is never more apparent than when one of the sports teams wins a championship. Actually, it’s never more apparent than when the Yankees win, the most absurdly self-righteous organization and fanbase in all of professional sports. But it’s beyond the sports. It’s the mentality of the city’s inhabitants. It’s the city’s attitude. New Yorkers like to call it the city’s “swagger”, as a term of endearment. What it really is is an attitude of:

  • I’m tougher than you
  • You could never make it in my city
  • My city is the greatest in the world at everything
  • Wherever I go, it will never compare to New York, and you’re wasting your time even trying to change my mind

Continue reading →

Luke Warm Linkage

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Something tells me this may not work.

It’s a Bad Week To Be…

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…a Championship Thoroughbred.

Lost in the wake of yet another crushed Triple Crown dream at this year’s Preakness Stakes last Saturday, the National Thoroughbred Racing Association also said good-bye to two of its past greats this week.

1986 Preakness champion, Snow Chief (5/15) and Hall of Famer, Skip Away (5/14) both shuffled off this mortal coil and raced on to the great paddock in the sky.

Skip Away (left) and Snow Chief (right) in happier times

Who would have thought that two giants in the sport would be eternally linked by passing just one day apart?  It’s not quite Farrah/MJ, but for horses, it’s pretty special.

Snow Chief, foaled of Reflected Glory and Miss Snowflake in the turbulent spring of 1983, broke free of his humble beginnings and quickly rose to prominence in the sport capturing five wins in his first nine starts.  Continue reading →

EJSIC College Football Top 25 – Preseason

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AP Poll

Coaches Poll

For the upcoming season, it appears to be a two-horse race as Alabama and Oklahoma share the top spot. The SEC takes center stage as they have 7 teams in the top 25, more than any other conference. There will be two match-ups of top 25 teams.

Here are the preseason rankings. If you disagree with them, feel free to cry about it in the comments section.

1. Alabama (192 – 2)
This week: vs Kent State

1. Oklahoma (192-5)
This week: vs Tulsa

3. Oregon (179 – 1)
This week: vs #4 LSU

4. LSU (175)
This week: vs #3 Oregon

5. Boise State (161)
This week: at #18 Georgia

6. Stanford (154)
This week: vs San Jose State

7. Wisconsin (132)
This week: vs UNLV

8. Texas A&M (125)
This week: vs Southern Methodist

9. Oklahoma State (123)
This week: vs Louisiana-Lafayette

10. Nebraska (116)
This week: vs Chattanooga

10. TCU (116)
This week: at Baylor

12. Arkansas (108)
This week: vs Missouri State

13. Florida State (104)
This week: vs Louisiana-Monroe

14. South Carolina (89)
This week: vs East Carolina

15. Virginia Tech (76)
This week: vs Appalachian State

16. Michigan State (67)
This week: vs Youngstown State

17. Florida (66)
This week: vs Florida Atlantic

18. Georgia (59)
This week: vs #5 Boise State

19. Notre Dame (51)
This week: vs South Florida

20. Auburn (50)
This week: vs Utah State

20. Ohio State (50)
This week: vs Akron

22. Mississippi State (45)
This week: at Memphis

23. Texas (30)
This week: vs Rice

24. Missouri (26)
This week: vs Miami (OH)

25. Utah (21)
This week: vs Montana State

25. West Virginia (21)
This week: vs Marshall

Others receiving votes: Washington (12), USC (11), Tennessee (10), Michigan (9), Penn State (9), Arizona State (8), Duke (4), North Carolina State (3), Northern Illinois (2), UNC (2), Iowa (1), Tulsa (1)