I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 29

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
There really is no worse feeling than enjoying something that is really great, only to be interrupted. The interruptions are usually uncomfortable, unpleasant, and always unwanted. At least from my point of view and my selfish view of the world. Most of the time, when a romantic encounter is interrupted, my friends are to blame. But the funniest moments are when the interrupters are her friends or better yet, her family.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

In college, I would always head back to my parents’ house for the holidays. But after being at home for a few weeks, by Christmas, I was usually ready to head back to my apartment for a few days for a bit of a break before coming back to my home town for New Years.

Now, when you’re loosely dating a few girls and they know you’re coming back to your place, this is trouble. I usually hadn’t seen them for a few weeks and they all wanted to stop by to see me. I can’t have that. So, I’d make some story about how it would be on my way to swing by their house to say hi to their family and bring presents, then I’d go to my place the next day. Of course, I’d actually be going to another girl’s place with the same tired story, but it worked.

So, after Christmas my junior year, I headed back up to school and decided to stop at Helen Hunt’s place “on the way.” Her house was seriously three hours out of my way, but that’s better than spending my few days away from my family worrying about having two visitors show up at the same time.

Continue reading

I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 15

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
In Idaho, the 4th of July is a really big deal. I mean, I understand that in America, the 4th of July is a really big deal everywhere, but I’ve been to a lot of 4th of July parties and celebrations in a lot of different states and I can say without a doubt that Idaho really goes crazy over the 4th.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

The town I was in was approximately 3,000 people – a large town by Idaho standards. And over the 4th, they’d have all kinds of events, a fair, a rodeo, etc. And the town would get packed – it would grow about an order of magnitude and suddenly have between 30 and 40,000 people. And the festivities were like a 3 day ho-down. It being Idaho, most people would wake up and drink – and drink a lot. The bars were really open starting early in the day (before noon) and would close at 2am.

This made for one of my favorite weekends there too. I’m no cowboy, but any group of crazy assholes that’s willing to drink for 15 or more hours straight, well, they’re alright with me. The thing about living in a small town that becomes a pretty big city for 3 days is that almost everyone in the small town has to pitch in to keep things running smoothly.

Now, another thing about outsiders, the locals don’t much care for you until they need your assistance, then it’s all smiles from the bank teller or the lady at the bakery. Those are just two of the three places I frequented. The other was the bar. And over the 4th of July, the bars would get slammed. Amazingly, the locals were such heavy drinkers that this town of 3,000 had 5 bars. And they weren’t all huge, but even the small ones would open their parking lots up over the 4th so they could accommodate that many people.

Continue reading

Luke Warm Linkage

WordPress is being stupid, so you get to look at this again.

I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 11

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
I’ve always loved fishing. I told you about driving out to Idaho with my boat so I could fish some of the reservoirs. Well, I also had a canoe strapped to the roof of my truck. I didn’t know if I’d be able to use it, but I wanted the option. And it turns out, when I got out there, the closest little lake to me had a “no motor” restriction. It also was the only lake within 2 hours that had musky in it. I love musky fishing, so I fished it a lot. I have no way to verify the presence of musky because I was skunked every time.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

But everytime I fished that lake, tossing large lures out there to catch a musky, I’d get some monster bass to come up and strike. Catching huge bass is also great and certainly good enough to keep me coming back.

While living in Idaho, I found that the people in that state are generally less than intelligent. The town I was living in was about 3,000 large, but all but a few of the people there that were my age were too stupid to actually interact with. One of the people was a guy who was from Chicago, who liked the wilderness. I won’t actually tell a story about him now, but he has a few great ones. Then there was a girl from New York, we’ll call her Yankee. And a girl from Georgia, we’ll call her Blondie.

One Saturday, I offered to take Yankee and Blondie out to my musky lake to do some fishing. It was a cool lake. It had a single parking area with a few little paths that led to the lake, but not landing for big boats. The rest of the lake was totally natural with brambles and trees all around. It was so thick that you didn’t have any people on the banks once you got away from the parking lot. We could spend the day in the sun, paddling around, and maybe getting some fish to the boat. I own like 15 fishing poles, so I packed up 4 and we were off. The girls were more interested in spending time in the sun, but I rigged up their poles and we headed out. I sat in the back of the canoe, with Blondie in the front and Yankee in the middle.

We all were hooking into some decent bass in the 2 to 5 pound range, which are really impressive fish for northern Idaho. We’d been paddling all over the lake, fishing weed beds, deep spots, bays, points, everywhere but no musky. Then, I got the most action from a musky I’d ever had on that lake. Pulling a large topwater lure across about 9 feet of water with weeds extending to the surface, about 4 feet of water swirled behind my lure. As the fish came to the surface, I could clearly see the features that make it a musky, the big wide head, the long body, the dorsal fin near the tail fin, and my favorite part about musky, their eyes. When a musky surfaces, their eyes are like an alligator’s on the top of their giant heads, and while they’re looking at the lure, it feels like they’re looking directly at you.

Continue reading

Adorable WNBA Still At It

In a just precious attempt to continue the most adorable widdle post-season ever, the WNBA’s Atlanta Dream and Indiana Fever pway a decisive game 3 tonight

Don't you just want to pinch their cheeks!

in Indianapowis to decide the cuddly-wuddliest champion of the Eastern Conference.

Many people were surprised, but delighted, to hear that the WNBA was still playing basketball and was, in fact, as darling as ever.

Basketball fan and realtor, Mark Fagan, responded with a proud smile when told of tonight’s playoff game. “Aww. Isn’t that just the cutest thing? They’re playing basketball,”  he said as the glow of sweetness washed over his previously haggard face. “Couldn’t you just eat ‘em up? Yes you could.”

Viewers can catch the endearingly charming game tonight on ESPN2.

 

Luke Warm Linkage

Because you know it’s true.

EJSIC College Football Top 25 – Week 4

LSU took over the top spot in this weeks poll after their third win over a ranked opponent. The SEC has the top two teams after Alabama took down conference opponent, Arkansas.

Arizona State cracked the top 25 after a win over USC.

As always, if you disagree, feel free to whine about them in the comments section.

1. LSU (197 – 5)
This week: vs Kentucky

2. Alabama (195 – 3)
This week: @ #10 Florida

3. Oklahoma (178)
This week: vs Ball State

4. Stanford (164)
This week: vs UCLA

5. Oklahoma State (162)
This week: BYE

6. Boise State (161)
This week: vs Nevada

7. Wisconsin (154)
This week: vs #11 Nebraska

8. Clemson (135)
This week: @ #17 Virginia Tech

9. South Carolina (131)
This week: vs Auburn

10. Florida (126)
This week: vs #10 Alabama

11. Nebraska (112)
This week: @ #7 Wisconsin

12. Oregon (110)
This week: BYE

13. Georgia Tech (93)
This week: @ North Carolina State

14. South Florida (86)
This week: @ Pittsburgh

15. Texas (84)
This week: @ Iowa State

16. Baylor (76)
This week: @ #25 Kansas State

17. Michigan (68)
This week: vs Minnesota

17. Virginia Tech (68)
This week: vs #8 Clemson

19. Texas A&M (63)
This week: vs #20 Arkansas

20. Arkansas (53)
This week: vs #19 Texas A&M

21. Illinois (37)
This week: vs Northwestern

22. Penn State (28)
This week: @ Indiana

23. Arizona State (24)
This week: vs Oregon State

24. West Virginia (21)
This week: vs Bowling Green

25. Kansas State (15)
This week: vs #16 Baylor

25. TCU (15)
This week: vs Southern Methodist

Others receiving votes: Iowa State (12), Florida State (9), Auburn (8), Houston (8), Michigan State (4), UNC (1), Temple (1)