1,001 Things Not to Do: Koh Chang Part One

So I believe that I left off my last story mentioning that Tim and I were going back to the guest house for a couple hours of sleep before waking up and taking the next bus out of Bangkok. I lied.

We found ourselves back in our guesthouse, still a bit rattled from just having been arrested.  Sleep was the last thing on our minds. “Let’s go get some beers for the bus ride.” Tim suggests. “Now?” I inquire in an incredulous tone.

It’s not even seven o’clock in the morning and the sun came up less than an hour ago. I’ve been awake for about 24 straight hours, I just got off a plane seven hours ago, and this guy thinks I’m down to get drunk a SECOND time in the span of six hours? Damn right I am.

Tim packs his shit, we check out of the hotel where I paid ten bucks for his two nights’ stay (I now have a little more than 30 dollars to my name until I can get my ATM card working again, for the record), and we head down the road to the nearest travel agent to get a bus ride set up to get us close to our destination of Koh Chang island.

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I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 36

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
When I was living out in Idaho, everything was nice. The scenery was nice, the people were nice (and really crazy), but few things were great. And most importantly, every guy knows that if you call a girl nice, that’s a euphamism for fugly. And most of the women in Idaho were nice.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

So, when an important holiday like New Year’s Eve rolled around, guys like me try to find another town to get drunk in. I’m not saying everything in life should be motivated by hooking up with good looking chicks, but if you’re going to hook up, don’t you owe it to yourself to hook up with something that won’t make you sick in the morning? Sure you do. And there are few holidays like New Year’s Eve, where hooking up is kind of expected if not mandatory. It may not always happen with the girl you started out with, but nobody should spend the first night of a new year alone.

So, I headed out to Seattle to visit Evil Twin and his lady friend. You see, Evil Twin spent a few years working fishing boats out of Alaska and kept a lady in Seattle that he would visit when he was back on land. This was great for him because women in Alaska are like monsters – unattractive and rare. And this girl in Seattle was very attractive and focused on work, so she didn’t mind him being gone so much. He also didn’t need to have a home address if he could stay with her and his family for chunks of time between shipping out – that saved him a lot of money.

So, anyway, we headed to Seattle to enjoy New Year’s Eve. Now, every man alive knows that there are two awesome aspects to New Year’s Eve. First, as I’ve explained, you get to go out and try to get lucky. And second, you get to kick that skank out (or not, it doesn’t really matter) and watch college football all day on New Year’s Day.

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I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 26

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
I spent 5 years in college because it really is a great time. So great that after college, I went to a new college for a Masters. And after some time in the real world, I went back to the Greatest Place on Earth for a PhD. God knows, the reason I love college so much is because of the hot, young tail.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions in the end.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions in the end.

I’m not even attractive, but girls between the ages of 18 and 22 are stupid. So stupid that they don’t realize that by sleeping with me, they are in no way setting themselves up to date me. They are, however, providing me with stories to later spread around the internet to encourage a younger, more capable generation of unattractive men to treat them with essentially no respect and do things with them that would make porn stars blush.

One of the things that happens when you put a group of blatantly immature men in close proximity with ignorantly immature women and no adult chaperones is terrible decisions. One of my favorite mainstays, and admittedly terrible decisions, from college was “taking a break.” I was constantly taking breaks from the girls I was dating, only to make up after a wild night.

When you decide you need a break, it’s usually planned and usually immediately before you know you’re going to do something that would get you in so much trouble it would ruin your relationship that currently affords you all the no-strings-attached sex you want. Well, round about sophomore year, I was on a break…

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Breaking Down the Current BCS Championship Game Situation

Who will make it to New Orleans?

The BCS standings currently have LSU at No. 1 and Alabama at No. 2. There is a lot of speculation currently on sports message boards and in the media about who will get the No. 2 spot in the BCS championship game should all the teams in the BCS top 6 win out. So, being one to follow the crowd, I’ve decided to share my thoughts on the subject. Here’s how I see it playing it out if everyone wins their next games with only Alabama done for the regular season.

LSU vs. Houston
This would be my personal choice for the game, but I know it’s not going to happen. Houston has not had a schedule that is comparable to the other teams in the Top 5. Their toughest test is their game with against Southern Mississippi, which hasn’t happened yet. The win over UCLA might seem good, considering that UCLA is in the historically powerful Pac 10 (I’m using the old names because I’m old), but UCLA is 6-6 and was manhandled by Texas. However, the main reason this won’t happen is that the BCS voters believe that it will not earn the ratings, attendance, or revenue the BCS is seeking.

LSU vs. Alabama
This is not likely to happen despite Alabama’s resume, which includes strong wins against Penn State, Arkansas and Auburn. Normally, the mistakes of a young quarterback would not mean much in most games, but the fact that McCarron came up short against LSU at home will be used as the reason that Alabama should not be in the game. The real reason, however, is that LSU vs. Alabama would end up being too regional and not the moneymaker that the BCS seeks, even though they have as much right as Oklahoma State (and some would argue more right) to play in the game.

LSU vs. Oklahoma State
This is the most likely scenario. Unlike LSU vs. Alabama, the game will have nationwide appeal and Oklahoma State’s resume is very similar to Alabama’s. They will have only one loss, to Iowa State, and when people make what I consider silly arguments that losing to a team ranked in the Top 30 is exactly the same as losing to a team ranked #1, then Oklahoma State is the top choice. Also, they will have beaten Oklahoma, which is a tough team, whereas Alabama will have been idle and a lot of these rankings are based on recent history.

LSU vs. Stanford
This is a long shot. Stanford, too, has only lost one game. I would argue that their loss is better because it was to a team ranked in the Top 10 at the time, whereas Oklahoma State’s wasn’t. I am firmly of the belief that not all losses are equal, much like Sagarin or Kenpom. This game would also have nationwide appeal, which is good for revenues. However, the perception that the Big 12 Conference schedule is tougher than the Pac 10 schedule and the fact that Stanford despite its 1-loss record will not be playing in the Pac 10 championship game is what will hold Stanford back, even though Stanford has also beaten a number of teams in the Top 50.

LSU vs. Virginia Tech
Hahahahahahahaha. The only way this would happen would be if every team ahead of them lost and Houston was given the death penalty by the NCAA next Saturday. I am probably the only person who is not a Hokie fan that would like to see this matchup only because of Virginia Tech’s history of blowing BCS Bowl Games. At least this time, it would be against the No. 1 team in the nation.

Final thoughts
So, there you have it. That’s how I see it all playing out should all teams win out. But, I don’t see that happening. I believe that Southern Miss will upset Houston and that Oklahoma will upset Oklahoma State. Then you have Stanford, Alabama and Virginia Tech all in the spotlight because Houston is the kind of team where 1 loss is equal to two losses in the Big 6 conferences. At that point, Stanford’s stock will rise and people will be clamoring for them to get in over Alabama. Will the BCS listen? Probably. It’s all about the money, after all.

EJSIC College Basketball Top 25 – Week 4

Pre-Season | Week 4 |

Basketball season is in full swing. There are still a lot of remaining unbeaten teams, but only so many can make it into our polls. After an early season UNC loss, UK has taken over the top spot in this week’s poll.

Remember that this poll also includes a combined ballot from the polls submitted by readers. If you would like to have your poll included in the combined ballot, post it on the Message Board in the appropriate thread. If you can’t find the thread, you probably shouldn’t be voting…

So… Without further ado… Here’s our poll.

1. Kentucky 6-0 (248 – 8)

2. Ohio State 6-0 (242 – 2)

3. Duke 7-0 (225)

4. Syracuse 6-0 (212)

5. North Carolina 5-1 (188)

6. Baylor 5-0 (175)

7. Wisconsin 6-0 (173)

8. Louisville 5-0 (158)

9. Florida 4-1 (149)

10. Missouri 6-0 (140)

11. UConn 6-1 (138)

12. Alabama 7-0 (136)

13. Xavier 4-0 (130)

14. Michigan 5-1 (108)

15. UNLV 7-0 (104)

16. Marquette 5-0 (99)

17. Gonzaga 4-0 (80)

18. Vanderbilt 5-1 (58)

19. Creighton 5-0 (56)

20. St. Louis 6-0 (54)

21. Kansas 3-2 (53)

22. Pitt 5-1 (50)

23. Harvard 6-0 (45)

24. Purdue 6-1 (36)

25. Mississippi State 7-1 (35)

Others receiving votes: Memphis (18), Tennessee (17), Indiana (16), Cal (15), Georgetown (14), Illinois (12), San Diego State (11), Texas A&M (8), Temple (7), Florida State (5), Oregon State (4), Virginia Tech (4), Oklahoma (3), NC State (2), Minnesota (1), Murray State (1)

EJSIC College Football Top 25 – Week 13

After knocking them out on the field, LSU has knocked Arkansas back down a few spots keeping an All-SEC National Championship game on pace. Houston continues to lurk in the shadows as they come in at #4 this week.

As always, if you disagree, feel free to whine about them in the comments section.

1. LSU (100 – 4)
This week: vs #12 Georgia

2. Alabama (92)
This week: BYE

3. Oklahoma State (90)
This week: vs #14 Oklahoma

4. Houston (86)
This week: vs #23 Southern Miss

5. Virginia Tech (85)
This week: vs #21 Clemson

6. Stanford (79)
This week: BYE

7. USC (69)
This week: BYE

7. Wisconsin (69)
This week: vs #11 Michigan State

9. Boise State (66)
This week: vs New Mexico

10. Oregon (64)
This week: vs UCLA

11. Michigan State (60)
This week: vs #7 Wisconsin

12. Georgia (56)
This week: vs #1 LSU

13. Arkansas (52)
This week: BYE

14. Michigan (50)
This week: BYE

14. Oklahoma (50)
This week: at #3 Oklahoma State

14. South Carolina (50)
This week: vs BYE

17. Kansas State (38)
This week: vs Iowa State

18. Baylor (30)
This week: vs #16 Texas

19. Nebraska (25)
This week: at BYE

20. Penn State (23)
This week: BYE

21. Clemson (21)
This week: vs #5 Virginia Tech

22. TCU (20)
This week: vs UNLV

23. Southern Miss (12)
This week: at #4 Houston

24. Georgia Tech (4)
This week: BYE

24. Florida State (4)
This week: BYE

Others receiving votes: Cincinnati (2), Virginia (2), Arkansas State (1)

Luke Warm Linkage

Well, that explains that.