Volume 3 of the EJSICleaks is ready for leakage (that doesn’t sound right, but I’m sticking to it).
Today’s lone leak is a series of e-mails between Ole Miss and the Southeastern Conference discovered by two loyal readers: j-town-hero and daparish.
Hey guys, remember that time we helped you move back in ’69? Yeah, we’re going to need a favor. Please don’t let Memphis into the SEC! It’s hard enough to get people to play sports here as it is! I mean, come on, our mascot is Rebel Black Bear. WTF is that? Do you know how damn hard it is to tell athletes that they could one day wear that “Rebel Black Bear” uniform with pride? It’s embarrassing. And now you want us to compete with Memphis for recruits too? COME ON!
Subject: RE: Hey!
We understand your concern about a new admittance into the SEC with whom you would directly compete as a bottom-rung SEC team. However, the predicament with your new “Black Bear” mascot is a crisis that the SEC attempted to avert. As we related to you in the weeks prior to your mascot selection, the only subspecies of black bear present in Mississippi is the LOUISIANA black bear (Ursa Americanus Luteolus). However, in its infinite “wisdom”, your administration disregarded our warning and named your mascot after a namesake species of one of your most hated rivals, Louisiana State University. It’s only fitting, however, that your mascot would be an homage to the football program that has been stamping it’s name on you for nearly 100 years now. FWIW, we were pulling for Admiral Ackbar.
It’s Not a Trap,
the Southeastern Conference
Subject: RE: Hey!
I, personally, nor any of the coaching staff at Ole Miss was actually given a vote. Unfortunately the student body was too busy with their studies and what not to actually research the Miss. black bear population prior to making the decision and I’m told that the Rebel Black Bear was fairly popular with the ladies because it was “cuddly”. How am I supposed to work with cuddly? For the record, I was pulling for the Rebel Lion. Get it? Makes me chuckle every time.
-Ole Miss Coaching Staff