Thanks to ESPN, I’m starting to hate summer. And I really thought it would be decent. I guess I was wrong.
Look, you Bristol hacks. I really don’t care what Jared Allen thinks about whether or not Brett Favre is coming back. We all know Brett Favre’s coming back; he’s just smart enough to know that he’s Brett Favre and OTAs and camp and media obligations and practice and warmups are beneath him. Jared Allen knows this. He’s just too cool of a guy to say “what a stupid question. That’s all you wanted to ask me?”
I don’t care that A-Roid is stuck on 599. He’ll hit 600 eventually. MLB plays eleventy bajillion games per season. Him crossing the 600 homer threshold won’t change the fact that despite his talents (many of which were heightened by cheat-drugs) he’s still one of the most overrated baseball players of all time.
Yes, we know that LeBron James is in Miami. Thanks to the most embarrassingly shameful hour of television (in a year that brought us 100 Questions on NBC, mind you) we’ll never forget where we were the night that LeBron James decided to “take his talents to South Beach”. Wake us up when those guys play a game. We’ll be interested by then.
I also look forward to the PGA Championship next month, when SportsCenter will briefly mention the name of the leader, perhaps the second-place player, and then spend ten minutes describing how Tiger Woods is in 51st place, “only” nine shots out of contention with five holes to go. OMG, will he make the comeback?!? I’ll also look forward to the repeated talking point of “Woods has not won a major tournament this year”. That one makes me particularly annoyed, because it implies that major championships are so abundant that you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one, to borrow a turn of phrase from my Appalachian-American forebears.
Also, Stuart Scott needs to go somewhere and die. If he could be so kind as to take Neil Everett with him, that’d be a nice touch.
Agreed on all counts.
I genuinely hate ESPN now. I can’t even watch Sportscenter any more.
Neil Everett’s voice narrates my nightmares.
I lost all respect for ESPN when they bailed out the Big 12 (now referred to as the Longhorn Conference) and then claimed it was a “mysterious” group. So much for trusting their reporting integrity. I just watch for the day Beadle has enough, and takes out Cowheard live on the show.
How did ESPN “bail out” the Big XII exactly?
Agreed. ESPN infuriates me all the time now.