Kudos to USA basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski for standing up to the Russian men’s basketball coach, David Blatt.
(If you’re thinking that David Blatt is an odd name for a Russian, it’s because he’s actually a dual American/Israeli citizen. Don’t ask us why the Russians can’t find someone to coach their team.)
Blatt basically opined that the 1972 Russian team was the rightful winner of the Gold medal, which is a ridiculous assertion deserving of at least thirty seconds of judgmental laughter. So please, take 30 seconds (at a minimum) and laugh at it. We’ll wait for you.
Anyway, Krzyzewski was having none of Blatt’s ridiculous comment. He fired back:
“You know, he coaches the Russian team, so he probably has that viewpoint, and his eyes are clearer now because there are no tears in them,” Krzyzewski said. “So, it’s great. Whatever he thinks, he thinks. It really has absolutely no bearing on what we’re trying to do tomorrow. Absolutely none. Our bearing is how we guard [Anton] Ponkrashov at point when he comes in, how we defend [Timofey] Mozgov and [Sasha] Kaun inside, that we don’t let [Sergei] Monia get shots. That’s our goal, so that’s what our focus will be.
And we’ve addressed that that game was played 38 years ago, and five of these guys are 21. So I don’t think they remember it as well. It is what it is. It’ll be a negative from the way the U.S. looks at it forever, and should be. And it’ll be in some ways a positive for those who believe in fairy tales.”
Boom! Roasted! In addition to Krzyzewski’s verbal blast, Team USA also defeated the dirty Russian bastards in an actual game of basketball, if anyone really cares right now.
So now we wait for Blatt’s next move. Here’s how I imagine it playing out now that the game is over:
Blatt: Hey Mike, good win tonight. By the way, how many Pollocks does it take to coach a basketball team?
Krzyzewski (filling in a small rectangular mustache with a black Sharpie): I’m sorry, I didn’t hear Jew. I mean hear…you. Mind repeating?
At that point, fisticuffs ensue. Inexplicably, Geraldo Rivera’s nose is broken by a flying chair.
David Blatt just learned what most people already knew: Never corner a rat.