First, in case you don’t know, a FIB is the way Yoopers (a person from the UP) refer to folks from Illinois. Fucking Illinois Bastards come up during the summer, changing the population from 5,000 to 15,000 and thinking that their money should buy them everything they want because we’re all just poor people living in a place they want to visit. They’re everything that is wrong with America and it took only a summer to realize that everything about Illinois is worse than being vomited on.
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While living in Michigan, there is a window of about 2 or 2 and a half months of decent weather. During this time, the poor saps who are in undergrad go home for summer break, missing the only redeeming qualities of the UP. And the faculty and grad students who remain in town (and the thousands of FIBs who flock northwards) try to find any and every excuse to spend time outside.
Now, during the summers, we’d organize different sporting events. The biggest deal was softball. It was co-ed. There was alcohol involved. We had free access to the three baseball fields during the college offseason. And the different departments could compete against each other to prove who was the most athletic.
The problem was that there weren’t many biology grad students. In fact, at the time, there were 5 guys and 3 girls. And to field a team, you needed 9 players (10 could play at a time, but you couldn’t even play if you were more than a person short), at least half had to be girls. So, we needed at least one more girl and since summer was field season for biologists, you could count on half of the players missing any given game. So, we decided it would be ok to use our interns/technicians. This roped in a few more guys and most importantly, got us to 5 girls.
One of the new girls that started playing for us was pretty hot. We’ll call her Softball Sue. And, being single at the time, I was kind of interested. And like I said, alcohol was not only involved at the game, but afterwards, both teams would go out drinking. So, I talked her up the first time we were out after a game and was really into her. And she was sending vibes that let me know it was ok. But before anything happened, Doc dragged me out of the place and we went to another bar for a talk.