It turns out, college girls aren’t all that impressed by a 24 year old drunk who can’t even slur out some tired pick up line. I don’t actually use “lines.” You know, licking your finger and wiping it on her shoulder and yours, followed by, “why don’t you and me get out of these wet clothes?” Or “The word of the day is legs, let’s get out of here and spread the word.” Or “Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call her when I met the girl of my dreams.” Or “Do your legs hurt? They should, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” I could go on, but I’m sure you get the picture. I’ve never used one of those…
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While I was in grad school, my life became much less social. I spent time with other biologists both in and out of class. I spent time doing research. I spent time in the library. I spent time writing my thesis. But I spent very little time trying to pick up women. And on the nights I would go out, I hadn’t drank in so long that I tended to get pretty messed up – and then go try to work my magic.
But anyway, what I usually do is walk up to a girl I want to make out with and start talking to her. My best asset is certainly my looks, though I’m convinced I’m smoother than guys that rely completely on their looks. I’ll usually start with casual small talk. I try to gauge her interest level and ask appropriate questions. If she’s really skeptical of this stranger who just started talking to her, I’ll make a bunch of jokes to see if I can make her more comfortable and convince her I’m innocent. If she’s got that look like she wants it bad, I won’t joke with her too much, I’ll just get right to it with the flattery and blatant sex talk.
But, for the girl that I really want to hook up with, if she’s not sure, I’ve got to convince her that I’m safe and innocent. If she thinks scamming on girls is all I do, she won’t want to just be another notch. However, if she thinks you’re funny and thinks you think she’s special, well, then you could have an awkward silent walk back to her place (always her place) and still get it.