NCAA announces 2028 Final Four location

In an unprecedented move by the NCAA, the location of the 2028 Final Four was announced yesterday, eighteen years in advance. The move came after the overall number one Kansas Jayhawks were eliminated from the 2010 version of the tournament. The higher-ups in the organization failed to offer an explanation for the move, but a source with knowledge spoke to EJSIC anonymously.

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“Interim President James Isch wants to protect the top seeds as much as possible. That’s why we’re going to 96 teams next year. He didn’t like to see Kansas going home in the second round. It’s part of a long term vision. The Jayhawks are a big part of our tradition going back to Naismith and Phog Allen, and we don’t need them being upset. It’s bad for business.”

“The Kansas program has proven to be cyclical. They win championships every twentieth year: 1988, 2008, and, logically, 2028. We definitely don’t want people to think that season is already fixed, but we’re trying to optimize profits. By announcing the site yesterday, we feel it gives the Jayhawk faithful plenty of time to book hotels, take vacation time from work, etc.”

“Kansas City in 2028 is going to be Rock Chalk city. We’ve got some big plans to go along with it as well. We’ll bring in Roy Williams and let him wear a sticker for the Jayhawks, Tarheels, and Wildcats. We’ll probably have Larry Brown come in if he’s still alive. Some other things I can’t talk about right now…”

Obviously worried about revealing too much, he then abruptly hung up.

This new information bodes well for the Kansas fan base, decimated by heartbreak this past weekend. Unfortunately, this could also mean more heartbreak over the next eighteen years as Rock Chalk tries to break out of a vicious cycle akin to the Hindu prophecies. Fear not, Jayhawks. 2028 is your year.