With the rumors of Tiger Woods’ use of the Gene Simmons Monogamy Plan running roughshod through the sporting world, the EJSIC has just learned that this may not be the first time that Tiger has betrayed the trust of a lover.
It turns out that Mark O’Meara may have also been a victim of Tiger’s infidelity during the pairs’ dominant PGA Tour bromance in 1998.
The Walrus surveys his prey.
“In retrospect, I think Tiger may have been seeing Craig Stadler behind my back,” a visibly shaken O’Meara told our reporter today.
When asked what had led to his suspicions, O’Meara had this to say, “It’s just a combination of things I guess. They were always a little too chummy for casual acquaintances. Tiger came home late many nights smelling of sardines and Cuban cigars, but it was probably the jar of mustache wax I found on the bathroom counter that sealed it for me. We all know black guys can’t grow decent looking mustaches.”
As you would expect, Woods representation had no comment on the matter. We were, however, able to contact a former confidant of Tiger to get some insight into the situation.
The anonymous tipper, who would describe himself only as “Tiger’s Rave Buddy”, relayed the following, “Stadler wasn’t the only one by any stretch of the imagination.”
“Tiger was really into pudgy, unattractive white guys at the time. You should see the photos of him and John Daly in that hot tub full of pudding. I still have nightmares to this day.”
In Woods’ defense, he did have this to say, “When you’re rich, young, and successful, sometimes it takes a lot to get your rocks off. Tiger has grown up a lot since then. The situation with Elin is totally different.”
“Those of you who haven’t cheated on your Swedish model wife with a marketing skank, be the first to cast stones.”