In the interest of full disclosure, the reviewer freely admits to not watching the entire broadcast. So, here is the review of the parts he did watch.
I tuned in to America’s 23th most popular award show last night just in time to see the Temp, the Bear Jew and Bridget von Hammersmark presenting the award for Favorite Breakout Movie Actor. To an ear-splitting eruption of shrill, prepubescent screams and female orgasms, that Taylor dude from New Moon beat out new Kirk, new Spock, a robot and the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun for the “honor.”
In lieu of trying to watch his speech through the sound of hysterical, young girls becoming women at decibels meant to force information out of detainees at Gitmo, I turned the channel and watched Cougar Town.
Perhaps next year, I can make it through 2 whole categories. Until then…enjoy Awards Show Season!