I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 67

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
In the beginning of college, I was a drinker more than a student, but as I got in to my third year, I realized I needed to do some work to help me stand out to folks who would hire me after graduating. So, I started studying to get my GPA above the 2.76 it had been following my sophomore year. And then I decided that an internship would also help.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Finding an internship as a drunk, exceptionally average college student is remarkably difficult. It turns out that free labor is readily available and people fitting my bill are regarded as criminal threats moreso than the future workforce. So, after some looking, I managed to talk two biologists in to letting me do an internship on a research cruise of theirs. This meant they wouldn’t have to spend 7 weeks at sea and I would have to do a good enough job of collecting samples that they’d be able to publish a paper based on the results.

The boat was set to leave on February 2nd and return on March 24th. This in 1998, so the most horrible part for me was missing UNC’s dream season and then getting back just in time to watch it all fall apart. My parents were good enough to record the UNC Duke game from that year when UNC won by 27 and Vince Carter barely missed what would have easily been the greatest dunk in UNC history.

But more importantly, I was briefed by the two scientists a week before leaving and then, rather than returning to school for my spring semester, I flew out to San Diego, where I made my way to the Naval Yard. The boat I would spend the next 7 weeks on was 224 feet long and would house 28 of us – mostly permanent crew. There weren’t too many rules – the only one of any significance was “no beer.”

Continue reading

I’ve Been Experienced: Chapter 62

I Have Been Experienced, by Jose Kortez
Table of Contents
College was a great time. I spent a lot of my time drinking. Some other time working, sleeping, and studying. When Evil Twin and I first met, we were roommates in a dorm room. After two years, we decided to move out of the dorms. We both moved to the same apartment complex, but different buildings. They were townhouses, each rented as apartments to college kids right beside campus. Our apartments were separated by a field essentially. All the kids that lived there would play football on the weekends, but technically they were individual yards just without fences. His apartment wasn’t directly behind mine, but a few houses down as well. I’ve told you about Irish and Norso. I moved in with them, while Evil Twin moved in with Bones and some other people.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Women always seemed surprised by my actions even when they had heard from friends what would happen.

Living so nearby and all being friends with each other, we’d have coordinated parties every weekend. Basically, his house would throw parties that would last until around 11 or midnight before kicking and then we’d have a few kegs on tap for a late night party at our place. This was pretty much every Saturday night for a few years in college and one of the leading reasons my liver is diseased.

A lot of the people that would show up at his place would also come over to our place afterwards. But there is also a different element – an early crowd and a late crowd – so there would be people passing out before 11 and other people who were pretty sober after midnight who would be wrecked by 3am. Sometimes, we would get at it way too aggressively and not make it to the end of a party at Evil Twin’s and it would be up to Irish to take care of things at our place by himself while I was missing.

And, sometimes there were just the perfect storms. The times when one of us would get so out of control that we’d get kicked out of our own houses by our roomates. And, in the rarest of occasions, we’d both get so wasted that we’d both get the boot.

This is one of those times. One of those perfect storm situations when we both got the boot. Essentially, retold by hundreds of people who witnessed the scene, the tears, the complaints, the mock violence, and the juvenile behavior that comes with that much alcohol. Retold by those people because I have nearly no recollection of it myself.

Continue reading