LeBron James asks teammates for help in buying house

Blogs are blowing up around the Internet with the news that new Miami superstar LeBron James has signed a deal to buy former Heat coach Pat Riley’s beach front house for $49.5 million dollars. What those blogs are missing in their mindless reporting can be found here at EJSIC.

According to sources within LBJ’s inner circle, namely William “Worldwide Wes” Wesley, LeBron is not the sole owner of this mansion. In fact, new teammates Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh have also signed onto the lease as co-owners.

While on the surface it seems silly that someone who just signed a $100 million contract and has sponsorships with Nike and Gatorade among other corporations would need two others to help pay the bills, those same sources said LeBron only felt comfortable with his name next to theirs.

“It’s about building camaraderie for the new teammates,” said the anonymous source. “Yeah, it’s true that they all took gold in Beijing two years ago, but it’s different now. The Olympics is some fancy over-hyped junk we bought into back in the Cold War. The players don’t care.

“This is bigger. This is about NBA Championships. This is about living with two other guys, no homo, 24-7 and becoming one on the court.”

When asked whether Pat Riley may remain in the house as a fourth owner, the source said he was not sure, although it was being talked about. Rumor has swirled since the signing of Chris Bosh and LeBron James that Pat Riley could swoop down from the front office and take the coaching reigns once again.

EJSIC will be sure to keep its collective ears open in case further details become available. As we currently understand the situation, the Miami Trio is embarking on new territory.

Cleveland is better off without LeBron

I repeat: the city of Cleveland is better off without LeBron James leading its basketball team. If this round of free agency has proven anything, it’s how much of a farce LBJ really is. Cleveland doesn’t need it.

Sure, LeBron has helped to transform that franchise into perennial Eastern Conference contenders. And we’ve all heard countless times during this process that LeBron has an impact both on and off the court. He brings money to the city.

He is the entire franchise. He’s the future face of the NBA (if he isn’t already, though Kobe would like to have a say in that discussion), and he’s the local kid who rose up from the ranks to command the team of his childhood.

He’s all of that except the hometown hero. LeBron roots for the Yankees and Cowboys, not the Browns and Indians. He’s not Cleveland, not the way the fans who fill Quicken Loans Arena 41 times a season want him to be.

As Yahoo! NBA columnist Adrian Wojnarowski wrote, it’s all about LeBron and no one else. It’s about his own brand, his own image, his own ego.

There was hope for James when he entered the league that he would be different. His skills set him apart from others his age. They still do. His monstrous dunks and deflating blocks are part of a unique skill set built into a forward’s body with the ball-skills of a guard.

LBJ’s free agency has proven he’s no different than any other athlete; me, me, me all the time. So when ESPN airs this ridiculous “The Decision” special Thursday at 9 pm, don’t watch. That’s what LeBron wants. And Cleveland, don’t watch. He may or may not break your heart, but he’s dragged you through the mud enough.

Cleveland, you’ll survive with or without LeBron. With him, you still won’t win an NBA Championship and you’ll be nothing more than second class. Without him, you can move on.

Delonte West Sleeping With LeMom?

If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering what happened to LeBron the last two games of the Cavs series with the Celtics this week. Well, if we’re to believe TerezOwens.com, it’s because King James found out that team-mate Delonte West was LeBanging his LeMom.

Here’s an excerpt:

My (source) has been told that Delonte has been banging Gloria James (Lebron’s Mom) for some time now. Somehow Lebron found out before game four and it destroyed their chemistry and divided the team.

While I obviously can’t speak to the validity of this info, it is an interesting theory that would explain LeBron’s play and general behavior following Game 4.

If this is true, my guess is that Delonte will be heading West next season if the Cavs do manage to win this Summer’s LeBron Sweepstakes.

Is LeBron’s legacy on the line tonight?

After the Game 5 debacle, national sports writers roasted King James for his performance in Cleveland after the 32 point beat-down. They asked questions: Was that LeBron’s last game in Cleveland? Does he have the desire to win? One particular article even mentioned LeBron’s growing role in college recruiting as a sign that his mind is not completely right.

Cleveland wants a ring, LeBron.

Whatever it may be, we can all agree that the Cavs, and James in particular, sucked in Game 5. They didn’t make shots, they still didn’t have an answer for Rajon Rondo, and they played no defense whatsoever.

Now, they face elimination. They face a second round exit as a number one seed that would surely mark the end of Mike Brown’s tenure. It might prompt trades and anything else seen as necessary to keep LeBron. And it might just mean the end of LeBron in Cleveland.

Boston’s veteran players know how to finish a series at home, and they know the importance of not going back to Cleveland for the all-deciding Game 7. They will bring their A game tonight. The real question is: will LeBron bring his?

It’s not a question of talent. It’s desire and the will to win. It’s time for James to put the entire city on his back tonight and win. He’s done it before (25 straight points against Detroit a few years back). Can he do it again? Otherwise, his time in Cleveland will be remembered as such: when his team was number one, LeBron failed to reach the NBA Finals.

LeBron mistreats ball boy?

While waiting to check back into a playoff game in Cleveland’s first round series against the Bulls, LeBron tosses his warm-ups to the floor despite the ball boy waiting with a hand out beside him? Was he being a dick, or did LeBron just not see the guy there? You be the judge (video below).

All I know is that as LeBron’s career has progressed, more and more evidence has surfaced to contradict some of the positive views the national media has shed on him. That said, I’m willing to give LeBron the benefit of the doubt. He’s not explicitly looking at the ball boy, and perhaps it was an oversight on his part. Whatever really happened, it does not look that good for LBJ.

If you disagree or just want to bash the Cav’s superstar, do so in our comments section below.

Will LeBron Leave Cleveland for Lexington?

In case you missed it, LeBron James made an appearance at Rupp Arena yesterday to take in the Kentucky Wildcats’ thrashing of the Vanderbilt Commodores. “King” James even went as far as to become the “Y” in “Kentucky” during a cheer to start the second half.

It’s widely known that LeBron is very good friends with current Wildcat coach John Calipari and King James has visited the team on at least a couple of occasions prior. All of this has led to speculation that LeBron may be looking to opt out of his deal with the Cavaliers to sign with the Kentucky Wildcats.

Seeking to get to the bottom of this rumor, the EJSIC decided to interview a member of the King’s entourage who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity. We asked said lacky if there was any truth to all the scuttlebutt:

“Well… I’ll just say that the King may be looking at trading in his royal red robe for a royal blue one and leave it at that.”

When pressed as to why an NBA superstar making millions of dollars would even fathom joining a college team, he had this to say:

“The King is all about winning a title and leaving a legacy. He thinks the Wildcats could dominate college basketball over the next 4 years with him on the roster.”

“Plus, did you know there’s no salary cap at Kentucky? And since the player salaries are all under the table, Bron may not even have to pay taxes anymore. It’s a win-win situation.”

So, how close is this to being a done deal?

“Like I said, look for the King to have a lot more blue in his wardrobe next season.”

So there you have it, folks. It looks like the rich may be getting richer in every sense of the word in Wildcat Country next season.

Sports Czar Update: October 19

My fellow Americans, as I reported to you last month, I have been selected by President Obama to serve as our nation’s first Sports Czar. I wanted to take a few moments to give you a brief update on the progress I have made since accepting the position.

Near the end of September, I moved into my new office and operations command center, complete with 4 HD flat-screens that help me keep a finger on the pulse of Sports at all times. During my first day on the job, I began to put together a more formal agenda for the changes and enhancements I seek to make in the world of Sports. Then came the first Town Hall meetings. So far we’ve held two.

The first meeting was in Cleveland, where we met with several hundred distraught citizens. My team of support specialists talked to these poor souls for nearly six hours. Were they concerned about high employment, deplorable weather, and overall municipal stench? No. The two “kitchen table” issues for Clevelanders were Indians GM Mark Shapiro and the then-still-interesting Browns quarterback controversy.

Ronald Montgomery of Strongsville, Ohio said “Look, when you haven’t worked since 2007 and you’re in foreclosure, you need your sports teams to pull you through it. We have the [expletive] Indians and Browns. Tell me again what reason I have to live?”

When one of our interns mentioned “LeBron James”, Mr. Montgomery briefly smiled, then frowned and sunk into his chair again. “He’ll be gone in a year. Then what?” We had no answer.

It became immediately obvious to me that this job is going to be more challenging than I ever imagined. But I’m committed to this cause, and I will see it through to the very end.

After we assisted Mr. Montgomery with his suicide, we traveled to South Bend, Indiana for our next event.

In South Bend, the citizens were perhaps more affluent, but no less weathered by their local Sports environment. Elaine Trotter is a retired librarian we met at our Town Hall meeting. Ms. Trotter told us that if “Charlie Weis and his FUPA can’t get us to a BCS game this year, we’re going to need Federal assistance.” We explained to Ms. Trotter that Federal bailout money is not yet expected to be a part of this program. Her response? “Go [expletive] yourself, then.” She then proceeded to help herself to our coffee and doughnuts.

We have upcoming Town Hall forums scheduled in Oakland, Champaign, St. Barts, and Tallahassee. We hope you will come out and support our efforts. Your volunteerism is encouraged, and your donations are appreciated. After all, the fanhood you save might be your own.

I’d like to close this update with an excerpt from a letter I received from a man named Milton Stuckey. Mr. Stuckey is a huge college football fan, and his letter shows us why my position is so important to the survival of Sport in our fine nation. He writes:

“I am so happy that President Obama has appointed a Sports Czar. This is the kind of forward thinking this country has been lacking for decades, and I hope you will do great things. The first thing you need to work on is the BCS. How we can call ourselves the world’s lone super power while utilizing an archaic, quasi-Fascist championship selection process is beyond me. If you and Obama can get us a college football playoff, I guarantee a landslide election in 2012 that would make Reagan-Mondale look like Super Bowl XXV. Please get this done. The futures of our children depend on the work you are doing. God bless you all.”

We won’t let you down, Milton.  We are finally one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Yours truly,

S.A. McGee

Special Envoy for the Refocus and Restoration of American Sporting Supremacy (SERRASS)