Will LeBron Leave Cleveland for Lexington?

In case you missed it, LeBron James made an appearance at Rupp Arena yesterday to take in the Kentucky Wildcats’ thrashing of the Vanderbilt Commodores. “King” James even went as far as to become the “Y” in “Kentucky” during a cheer to start the second half.

It’s widely known that LeBron is very good friends with current Wildcat coach John Calipari and King James has visited the team on at least a couple of occasions prior. All of this has led to speculation that LeBron may be looking to opt out of his deal with the Cavaliers to sign with the Kentucky Wildcats.

Seeking to get to the bottom of this rumor, the EJSIC decided to interview a member of the King’s entourage who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity. We asked said lacky if there was any truth to all the scuttlebutt:

“Well… I’ll just say that the King may be looking at trading in his royal red robe for a royal blue one and leave it at that.”

When pressed as to why an NBA superstar making millions of dollars would even fathom joining a college team, he had this to say:

“The King is all about winning a title and leaving a legacy. He thinks the Wildcats could dominate college basketball over the next 4 years with him on the roster.”

“Plus, did you know there’s no salary cap at Kentucky? And since the player salaries are all under the table, Bron may not even have to pay taxes anymore. It’s a win-win situation.”

So, how close is this to being a done deal?

“Like I said, look for the King to have a lot more blue in his wardrobe next season.”

So there you have it, folks. It looks like the rich may be getting richer in every sense of the word in Wildcat Country next season.

The Finger Shots Heard Round The World

Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images

Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images

NBA Commissioner David Stern has dropped the hammer (poor word choice?) on Gilbert Arenas after the Wizards Guard was photographed (above) with his “guns up” during warm-ups in Philly.

Arenas has been suspended indefinitely, and, according to Stern, that may mean for a very long time. The Commissioner had this to say to ESPN:

“Although it is clear that the actions of Mr. Arenas will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse, his ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game,” Stern said in a statement. “Accordingly, I am suspending Mr. Arenas indefinitely, without pay, effective immediately pending the completion of the investigation by the NBA.”

Translated: “We were going to wait to suspend you, but you decided to be a smartass, so good luck recouping those game checks.”

Regardless of your viewpoint on the situation, you have to think that it’s comical that Arenas ultimately got suspended for laughing off the gun related incident and not the incident itself.

If I were Gilbert, I’d be sure I didn’t shoot my mouth off anymore. He doesn’t need to give the media any more ammunition and it’s clear that even a weapon of his caliber isn’t safe from Stern’s firing squad.

Sporting World Apocalypse

The collective soul of American sports is dangerously close to going to hell. In June, we saw the Los Angeles Lakers win the NBA title and Wednesday night the New York Yankees clinched their 27th World Series. We’re one franchise away from having the three biggest bandwagon fan bases in American sports all win a championship in a twelve month period. And that franchise is none other than the Dallas Cowboys.

Can you imagine what would happen to our sports if the Cowboys win the Super Bowl in February? The little man’s fears of being overrun by big brother would come true. Championships bought and paid for in greenbacks as well as billion dollar venues would be regarded as the way to build a team. We’d come closer to creating our own black hole than CERN did when it tried to recreate the big bang.

To put it bluntly, American sports would undergo an apocalypse. Would there be room for the little Tampa Bay Rays who went from worst to first through the draft and an emphasis on fundamental baseball? Will we ever see the eighth seeded Golden State Warriors upset the top seed Dallas Mavericks? Could a small market NFL team like Jacksonville compete?

Reading through this entry, you may be saying: “Michael, what’s so bad about being a fan of those teams?” I grant you, they have all been very successful. They also dominate their respective leagues financially, some more than others. However, the worst thing about each franchise is their fans. I’m not talking about the guy who grew up three blocks from Yankee Stadium or the lifelong Texan with the ten gallon hat or even the west coast hippie with season tickets who never stays for the whole game no matter how interesting. I’m talking about that overweight loser in mid America who somehow became a fan of three of the most successful franchises in professional sports.

Let’s examine a typical fan of each team:

A. Cowboys fan


Notice the tat with the years of all five Cowboy SBs

B. Yankees fan


Would a true Yankees fan date a Red Sox gal?

C. Lakers fan


Notice how the bandwagoner wears the hat backwards to appear both fly and a true fan.

Notice anything similar? Better yet, can you find a difference? For all we know, that could be the same guy at different phases of life. It’s ridiculous and it’s not what sports are supposed to be. What happened to the fan I described above? Where is the guy (or gal) who lives and dies by every pitch, free throw, and touchdown? Why can’t we see the true fans celebrating these championships?

America, I warn you now: start rooting for someone else to win the Super Bowl. Dallas hasn’t looked like the best team so far, but their one hot streak away from being contenders with the talent they have. Our system can’t handle it. It would be bandwagon overload. We’d have more fat guys jumping around acting like complete morons than if McDonald’s suddenly became free. America neither wants nor needs that.

Note to any Notre Dame fans: You all can thank the current state of your football program for not being on this list. If you were any threat at all to a national championship, you would’ve been included. As it is, only Lou Holtz believes in you.