Sweet Emotions: Part II

Well, we can all breath a sigh of relief. At least two of those unbearable B1G teams can’t hurt our eyes anymore.

Thankfully, yesterday saw Syracuse pull out a close one over Wisconsin and those filthy Cards mercy-killed Michigan State. Now we’re left with an Ohio State team that does at least try to score and… Indiana. I feel better, don’t you?

Some sweet hot mama with a face like a gent
Said my get up and go musta got up and went
Well I got good news, she’s a real good liar
Cause the backstage boogie’ll set your pants on fire

Mr. Tyler is talking to you, UNC and UK fans. I think. Let’s move on to today’s games:

10 Xavier vs. 3 Baylor
This would seem like a match-up nightmare on paper for the X-Men. Baylor has a plethora of athletic lottery picks and dead-eye Brady Heslip, who can’t seem to miss when it matters. Thankfully for Xavier, games aren’t played on paper. While Baylor has top 3 talent, they seem to have a bottom 3 motor at times. When the Bears have lost, it’s been to tougher teams that have weathered the storm and delivered the kill shot. Xavier is a team that has been hammered by distractions and disappointments, and has seemed to come out stronger for it. Look for this game to be a lot closer than you might think.

The hat doesn't help, Steven.

13 Ohio vs. 1 UNC
With Wrist-Gate still in full force for the Heels, they must still feel kind of fortunate to draw an over-matched Ohio squad in the round of 16. Even without KM, UNC has an enormous talent advantage at nearly every position. Don’t get me wrong, Ohio is a good team, who has had a great run. There’s just no conceivable reason they should beat North Carolina. You could have said that about VCU and Kansas last year too, though…

4 Indiana vs. 1 Kentucky
As you all know, Indiana delivered the Wildcats one of their two losses on the season in dramatic, buzzer-beater fashion in Bloomington. The shot has been played over and over (and over and over) on ESPN all season long. While Indiana fans might cling to that game as proof that they will arise victorious once again, reality suggests this might be a bloodbath.  Anthony Davis, who played his fewest minutes of the season against IU, has grown into the (likely) player of the year. Marquis Teague, who started the season as a turn-over waiting to happen, has been molded into the poised floor leader that Calipari’s offense thrives on. Outside of the SEC tournament, Kentucky has looked nigh invincible. If teams focus on clogging the middle, then they shoot over them and beat them by double-digits. If opponents play them straight up, the Wildcats dish and dunk to double-digit wins. Add to that the revenge factor that Kentucky players have openly discussed, and you have to like their chances on a neutral floor.

11 NC State vs. 2 Kansas
The Wolfpack is back, or so it would seem. Mark Gottfried, who used to play a coach on TV, has ignited NC State from the last team in to a Sweet 16 success story. Just as admirable, Bill Self has taken a squad with little expectations going into the season and transformed them into a legit Final Four threat. From the outside, this game appears to be a strength on strength match-up of C.J. Leslie and Richard Howell versus Thomas Robinson and Jeff Withey. If that equates to anything close to a stale-mate, look for the guards to be the difference, as Tyshawn Taylor and Elijah Johnson use their new-found assertiveness to put away the Pack.

While not quite as sweet as yesterday’s match-ups, there’s still plenty to watch for with the  ultimate national champion probably emerging from this group.

The smell that you thought was Cleveland

Cleveland, Ohio was blackballed earlier this year when Forbes.com announced it was the most miserable city in the US of A. Now, I’m not usually one to LOL at misery, but in the case of Cleveland last night, it is too irresistible.

But before we LOL, we need to first establish the true smell of Cleveland. For that, we turn to the ever-popular and never wrong (slight hyperbole) Urban Dictionary. “Cleveland Smell” has its own entry at the online dictionary of slang language: “The smell is primarily a mix of factory waste, marijuana smoke, and gunpowder. There is also a hint of decaying bodies, burning rivers, crack smoke, alcohol, rat poison, and rabid dogs.”

Sounds nasty, but last night a new stench was added: combo-douche (my own contribution to English). Combo-douche is when two or more douches are in close proximity to one another. Chicago Bulls PF Joakim Noah combined with his counterpart on Cleveland, Anderson Varejao, to create a new wrinkle in the stench of Cleveland.

Noah is best known for his goofy dance at Florida after winning a National Championship (see below). And he recently said the city of Cleveland “sucks.” Well, he was correct in that aspect, but little does Noah know, he added to the suckitude last night with his ponytail and overall goofy-looking self.

The other half of the combo-douche, the “Brazilian Bro Fro” Anderson Varejao has been contributing to Cleveland’s stench for some time. Varejao has been known to flop in the past, something American sports fans don’t take to kindly. Need more proof of his douchery? Just check out the video below. Even if it is All-Star Dwyane Wade, no one should ever get dunked on quite so hard (or by someone 7 inches smaller than you).

So now you know, America. The smell that traversed great distances and came through your television screen was not some TNT Smell-O-Vision. It actually was the smell of Cleveland, Ohio, America’s most miserable city.