My Wife’s New NFL Team Update #2: We Have A Winner

I have been stumped for the past nine days.  In the last phase of this search for a new NFL team for my wife to cheer for, I’ve been trying to weigh the appropriate pros and cons of the final four teams in order to come to an informed and guilt-free decision.

The Packers, while mostly harmless, have been successful as of late.  So, there is a legit tendency to want to avoid bandwagonry at all costs. And Brett Favre played for them for half a century or something.  So, it’s tough to love them.  Then again, they were jilted by number 4. But, as has been stated, their fans wear cheese hats. So, who knows?

The Jets are still tempting.  Mostly, because each time I mention them as a possibility around here, another of my Patriot-fan friend’s head explodes.  Which is really, really fun to watch.  However, Brett Favre played for them for half an hour or something.  So, it’s tough to love them.

The Seattle Seahawks are still a great choice.  But, the geography just doesn’t help.  Are they even ON television outside of the Pacific Northwest?  Would it be worse than being a fan of her native Rams? So many questions.

The Minnesota Vikings wear purple, which is a stupid, stupid color for a sports team. I generally like every person I have ever met from Minnesota, so, I could see my wife becoming one of those very nice people.  But, Brett Favre played for them for a couple of seasons…so, man…how did I end up letting THREE teams that Favre played for make the final cut?  See. This is why I shouldn’t be entrusted to such decisions.

Which is why I decided that I am not going to make this decision.  I am turning to a higher power: our 11 month-old son. Continue reading

My Wife Needs A New NFL Team

There were 2 minutes left in Friday night’s preseason football game.  My once-beloved Kansas City Chiefs were losing 4,000a to 0 and my wife casually uttered the most horrific thing I’ve heard, to date, in our marriage: “I think someday, maybe, I might end up having to root for the Patriots.”

A little bit of background here.  We live in Boston, but are both transplants.  I’m originally from Kansas City; she’s from St. Louis.  Her primary allegiance is to hockey and the Blues, but we have both been able to root for the Bruins.  The Celtics were also an easy adoption for us since neither home city has an NBA team (stupid Kings).  The Red Sox are tolerated and generally well-wished in our household, but will never be our primary team.

Then, there’s the Patriots.

I abhor the Patriots.  To quote Dr. Perry Cox from TV’s Scrubs: I “megaloathe” them. I hate their sense of entitlement.  I hate their mumbling, hoodie-wearing coach.  I hate their pretty boy quarterback.  But, most of all, I hate their fans.  There’s a fine line between Pats fans and, say, Sox fans or Bruins fans – since it’s mostly the same group of people – but, I don’t have the energy to try to make sense of that for you right here and now. You just have to trust me that there is a difference.

Yeah. That about sums it up.

So, in her earnest attempt to reconnect to a sport she genuinely enjoys – and despite the unfortunate scenario of being a Rams fan in Massachusetts – my lovely wife audibly contemplated the unthinkable.

Now, she has given me the charge to wade through the remaining NFL teams to find her a suitable team to root for.  This will start with a trial, one-season fandom.  After which, she is free to continue or abandon as she deems fit.  What follows is my initial reaction to each team.  A final decision will be made prior to the beginning of the season.

Let’s get to it. Continue reading