- Apparently, some football was played this weekend. Immediate searches for coverage were not found.
- America has gone gaga for Lady Gaga…or at least the 0.8% of America that still watches MTV.
- Bruce Pearl is a bad, wittle boy.
- In Speidi news: Spencer Pratt has apparently admitted to being arrested in Costa Rica. Hey, Spence, if you’re going to try and regain your place at the top of the fake-celebrity world…try not coming clean about something that any drunk frat guy can do on Spring Break.
- …And here are a couple of sports-related videos:
For whatever reason, every television network simultaneously ran out of ideas for television shows and decided to film “reality TV.” I’m not convinced it’s even real – it might be scripted, making it even more of a waste. But assuming it’s real, there are some shows that just haven’t been shown that I might enjoy. Shows that may even be spinoffs from some reality shows that have already happened.
Clearly, Spencer and Heidi from The Hills are masters of the fame through spinoff concept – they took relatively obscure careers, became super flambouyant and over the top, the media latched on to them (I think because of Spencer’s hat), and suddenly, they’re famous. They’ve taken that fame and through brilliant strategy (incomprehensible human behavior that makes 80+% of the population stare in wonder) increased their fame to a point where they are now two of the more recognizable people in the US.
They are actually interviewed by news organizations that insist on calling themselves true news networks. Is that news? What they think? Sure, that puts CNN up there with The Soup or The Daily Show. Oh wait, those shows don’t claim to be real news.
I hate people.
And the more famous and constantly-in-my-face they are, the more I hate them. So, I have decided to bring my favorite little piece of escapist fantasy to this forum to share with you, our dear readers.
The concept is simple. There is a rocket. That rocket is going to be launched directly into the sun. There are 7 seats on the rocket. Who sits in those seats?
You can put anyone that you wish on the rocket. Candidates should widely and grandiosely contribute nothing to society as a whole and usually be annoying to the point of cartoonish unbelievability. Honorees who have punched a ticket on my personal launches in the past include Paris Hilton, Alex Rodriguez, Mel Gibson and all members of the band Nickelback.
But, now we’re going public with this. In this inaugural edition of the EJSIC version of Rocket to the Sun, I submit the following passengers:
1. Kanye West – This one’s easy. He’s the center of the universe anyway, so he can now take his stupid shades and vocoder with him when he goes to the ACTUAL center of the universe.