Flop’s Five Things

So much for that idea...

Hola, amigos and amigas. Welcome to the first installment of Flop’s Five Things. This will be a recurring segment, where I touch on 5 interesting happenings I found out about today. So, without further ado (I know how much you hate ado), here are Flop’s Five Things.

  1. Today we found out that we still haven’t found out if Brett Favre has figured out if he’s playing next season. Once again, the Salt-N-Peppa’d One is milking the moment and missing as much actual practice time with his team as is humanly possible. What are the odds Roger Goodell implements a “Favre Rule” that prohibits washed up players from holding teams hostage every off-season after this year? If he were truly the Texas Ranger he pretends to be, he’d man up and spare us the drama next season.
  2. Today I found out that former Kentucky Wildcat Wesley Woodyard was the Denver Bronco who delivered the now famous “Friar” hair cut to Tim Tebow during training camp. Wildcat and foreskin fans everywhere salute you, Wes.
  3. Today I learned that incoming NCAA President Mark Emmert would like to emulate the MLB draft rules system for college basketball. For those of you that aren’t in the know, high school baseball players are allowed to either turn professionally right away or commit to 3 years of college.On the surface, I love this idea in terms of developing players and chemistry in college. In reality, though, I know that the kids aren’t the only ones making bank in the one-and-done system. NBA teams now have the pleasure of bust-proofing their draft decisions based on a year’s worth of film competing against high level competition. I’m guessing the execs aren’t in a big hurry to up their odds of wasting millions on unproven commodities.
  4. Today I learned that Juggalos are not to be @#$%ed with. Not only did they almost rid the world of Tela Tequila (you should be taking notes Shawne), but they also took on a legit former gangsta rapper in Method Man. That’s some hard-ass clowns right there.
  5. Finally, Google taught me that my prediction of Johnny Depp playing Ranger Smith in the Yogi Bear movie was swiftly debunked. It turns out they are actually making a Yogi Bear movie and that Ed star Tom Cavanagh has won the coveted role of Ranger Smith. There’s always Top Cat, Johnny.

With that, I bid you adieu. Please remember to stay the @#$% out of my picnic basket.